Jesus Hands

A taunt used with your arms spread open and slightly halfway raised, as though being crucified, while approaching someone.

"This mfker's coming up hard with them Jesus hands.."
" I came at em with my Jesus hands."

by SplishSplashOnMyRash November 29, 2017

jesus erection

when a man is able to reach erection quickly after ejacultion.

Dude i totally had a jesus erection last night in bed.

by witchslayer69 May 19, 2018

Jesus Boner

When you are flaccid, but you really need to get up in there...You pray to Jesus and he delivers a massive boner.

"Please give me this Jesus boner, Christ. To fuck this chick/dude!"

by TheBonePolice January 9, 2019

The Jesus Bump

Noun

1. Euphemism for awkward Christian sex.

2. Christian dry humping

3. Mormon anal sex

4. A dance move done by Christians in which they spread their arms out to the side to look like Jesus on the cross. Then with feet together hop to the beat of music with knees barely bending. Palms facing forward.

Verb

-ed, ing

The act of doing any of the above

Dude, that Mormon girl; she's totally down for the Jesus Bump.

Yea, man, she was so uptight. But she let me Jesus Bump that.

Man, that Baptist girl was a freak. We did the Jesus bump and soaking.

by Undercommons September 3, 2014

jesus hurtado

Jesus is the most amazing person you will ever meet , tends to be sweet,caring, and handsome. Has an amazing smile and fun to hang around with . Any girl would love to have a guy like him , Tends to know how to play the guitar.. He wil bightwn each and everyday of yours . Has a big heart , beautiful eyes , good looking and a amazing personality . If you make him mad he doesn't play .. Plays tennis.. SEXY haha .. Well jesus's are unique and the best thing that can ever happen to you. A blessing ❤️

I love jesus Hurtado

by Gordaa January 26, 2014

Jesus Omnist

Someone who is a Jesus Omnist is someone who practices Omnism in a sense that we are one with all religions. But specifically with Jesus being the messiah, the son of god, the belief that Jesus Christ is the common denominator. What does this mean? Christianity, Catholicism, Judaism, Muslim, amongst others, of him being acknowledged all define what encompasses Jesus Omnism. we don't discredit any messiah's path but we point to written evidence that acknowledges the walk of Christ.

That guy believed that Christ was his savior. But he's reading the Quran. He's such a Jesus Omnist.

by daniellethecreative_ February 24, 2022

Jesus Lover

These are typically old ladies living in Camarillo who believe everyone is going to hell.

My parents live in a retirement community full of Jesus Lovers.

by Jean Cadault May 22, 2023