Based on How i met your mother's 11th Episode of 6th Season
300 years ago sailors stuck at sea would get desperate at sea for female comapionship, it got so bad that manatee out in the water started to look likebeautiful womens, mermaids.
Every women no matter how initially repugnant have a mermaid clock, its the time it takes for you to bone her. sure today you see her as a manatee but she aint gonna stay that way.
This is a sexual act involving cumming on the insides of a girl ankles. Then proceed to push the feet together until they stick. When this is completed and both feet are stuck together slap her in the face and throw seaweed at her. This should give her the appereance of an angry mermaid
John: Hey man i angry mermaided this bitches ass last night
Gary: No way man! whered you get the seaweed?
John: Your momma gave it to me after I Boned her!
The sexual position which consist in stapling the woman's legs together and throwing her in a pool. Now while she gurgles for air you must gently insert your pelvic cavity in her mouth.
David: Bro I totally did the frontal-mermaid with your mom last night.
Victor: Idk what you're talking about, she is clearly still walking.