Telefrancais

A TVO children's show geared towards teaching French but in fact shows the effects of Stockholm syndrome, LSD and the not-so-innocent wiles of a local homeless man and his pet pineapple.

Telefrancais absolutely terrifies me.

by McKraken November 15, 2013

telefornication

Also known as "phone sex."

(phrase invented by AJ)

-I have been having these constant urges for telefornication.
-We telefornicated all night.
-When you move to Knight's Bridge, are you going to telefornicate with your lover?

by looover May 31, 2006

Telecomuniphobia

A fear of talking to somone over the telephone. This is caused due to text messaging too much. Symptoms often include refusing to call somone, or hanging up if anyone other then the intended person answers the phone.

"Why did he hang up without saying anything?"
"He has telecomuniphobia"

by Mattocks July 9, 2009

Teledump

Traveling to a different floor than you work on in an office building to take a dump.

Also accepted: Teledumper, Teledumping

That teledumper just plowed out a log in our bathroom and then took off up the stairs.

Courtney caught a teledumper getting on the elevator.

by floor_hopping June 29, 2010

telecommuting

The ability to find yourself fully surrounded by incompetent idiots while working from the comfort of your own home.

I may be working in my pj's, but through the magic of telecommuting, I'm still stuck dealing with these morons all day.

by annoyed12345 May 11, 2011

telejerking

Portmanteau of "teleworking" and "jerking". This occurs when you have an office job that requires such little time and effort, that on snowy days when employees telework from home, you can have several jerk-off sessions while technically being paid.

Such jobs are usually only afforded to government employees and sometimes government contractors, since deadlines don't mean anything to their bosses and they will be paid regardless of performance.

Rick: I telejerked yesterday and today. How do you feel knowing that your tax dollars go to pay me for choking my chicken two times before lunch while looking at porn on my work computer? Yeah, and that conference call at 2? I was shitting while I was on the phone. Tomorrow will be my third consecutive day of telejerking due to the chain of command in my office being populated by spineless men who employee only college interns and sassy black ladies that literally contribute nothing to the ability of our government to function.

by DHS Employee February 14, 2014

Teletrumpies

Slang term for Dolt 45’s associates who wind up on TV talking about their own inane roles in the Trump Circus.

Let’s tune in to the Teletrumpies and hear some stupid shit that makes no sense.

by Dr Bunnygirl January 20, 2020