family 

something you don't have.
father: left for the milk
mother: too fat to fit on this planet, can make things appear from thin air
step bro/uncle: sussy bakas
siblings: worst form of humans to ever be paired up

person: aww, what a cute child! where is your family?
orphanage manager: ._.

family by k1dn4m3df1ng3r December 29, 2022

Family 

Family is people who like to murder each other for fun.

My family and I own a slaughterhouse where we murder kids.

Family by Alexaiom February 21, 2023

Family 

A group who can comfortably get wasted together, and spend quality time together, playing D&D

I would love to go to this social function, but I have plans to get drunk and play D&D with my family.

Family by Drunk and Dragons April 15, 2023

family 

For queer people, referring to all other queer people as a family group that they feel part of.

Oh, that bartender is family...they might give us a discount.

family by Mithris May 16, 2023

Family 

The ones who control your world and run the matrix.

I heard he took acid and found out about the family.

Family by RandomThoughtguy January 8, 2024

family 

someone you engage in sexual activities with

hey sis suck my dick before i pound ur ass
ok i guess you are family after all

family by sigmaligmastigma July 14, 2024

Family 

F.A.M.I.L.Y.

FOR
ALL
MINE
I'LL
LAY
YOURS

My family will kill and die for me.

Family by KINGKRUNCH March 31, 2024