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chain of prevents

A chain of events that prevents you from accomplishing anything important.
Billy: "Did you do the paper for history last night?"

Edwards: "Well, I started it but then Jimmy showed up with a twelve and showed me some videos online and... long story short, I didn't get it done because of the unexpected chain of prevents."
by Antrock February 25, 2010
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Gaisy Chain

Sexual practice involving a group of men forming a circle simultaneously engaging in anal sex.
John was with Paul who was with George who was with Ringo who was back with John in a Gaisy Chain
by dubdee January 19, 2009
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chain letter

Once in a while I want to thank all the people in the US who have taken the time and trouble to send me their email chain letters all year round.
Actually I want to thank them for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of their concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. In fact, I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be surprised by Anthrax powder. Nor do I attend movies any longer for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since the delivery people are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I always wear rubber gloves when opening my mail in order to avoid the deadly Klingerman virus that starts out with severe dysentery. I never keep my car windows open at a stoplight for fear of a Spunkball that would be thrown inside that could cause a large, deadly fire.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. Thanks to them, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (I don't remember that in the Bible.) I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program. Yes, I want to thank all of them soooo much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!
If they don't send another e-mail chain letter to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on their heads head this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician! Honest!
Send another chain letter and you will be blessed!
by alvit May 14, 2009
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Chainmail

When you get those texts or emails saying if you dont forward this to (whatever number it is) something will happen to you. In other words, the most annoying fucking waste of time on the planet.
John: Huh I got a chainmail!

Chainmail: If you do not forward this to 10 people, Carmen will chop off your head.

John: OH SHIT I GOTTA SEND THIS OUT
by Doctor Largecock98 November 7, 2010
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Chainsaw

A suitable replacement for the word "fuck." Used by Jon Lajoie in his song "Fuck everything."
I don't give a chainsaw about anything, chainsaw everything, WHAT
by smreidy July 29, 2011
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chain letter scum

1. A person who you only email when you get one of those "Send this to 200,203 people in 10 minutes or your entire family will suffer fatal heart attacks!" You never email just to chat.
2. One of those "This will happen to you if you don't send this!" people featured in chain letters.
1. Girl 1: Ooh, look! Kevin emailed me!
Girl 2: Don't open it. You're chain letter scum to him.

2. "A girl named Martha Mowdry recieved this chain letter last April and ignored it. The next day, her whole family was killed in a freak plane crash, her house burned down, and she was diagnosed with kidney disease." In this situation, Martha Mowdry is "chain letter scum".
by PLost June 10, 2005
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All Balls No Chain

All Balls No Chain, or abnc, is a very difficult sexual manuever that requires focus, a high threshold for nut pain, nutsack-eye coordination, and most importantly - extremely saggy nuts. While engaged in doggy position, the female may experience more pleasure from the male's droopy ball sack swinging forward, slapping and stimulating her clitoris - even more pleasurable than the actual penetration itself. At this point she will beg him to abnc her, swatting away that pesky dick and demand that he only use his grandfather clock nuts, rendering his limp pencil dick useless. The male may experience pain to his balls due to the constant vag slappings.
Sam: Yo bro i heard you chilled with Maria last night, did you nail her?

Dave: Well, not exactly but something like that

Sam: What? Did you get it in or not?

Dave: At first yeah, but eventually she wanted me to finish her off by way of abnc

Sam: Oh nice, you definitely have those perfect droopy donkey nuts for a solid all balls no chain

Dave: Thanks man
by SoggyBottoms11 November 25, 2011
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