Spatchcock

To masturbate so aggressively that you cause harm.

She spatchcocked me so hard I couldn't walk for a week!

by ADignorantium November 29, 2019

Spatchcocking

When a wife covers her own ass by claiming her husband's incompetence or unwillingness resulted in failure or error when the actual root cause was her own inability or unwillingness to communicate clearly or effectively.

"My wife blamed the Thanksgiving turkey on my bad back."
"Dude, that's spatchcocking. You got spatchcocked."

by Celestin March 2, 2016

Spatchcock

A venereal disease, which can be contracted from chickens. Causes inflammation of the genitals, uncontrollable clucking and pale, spheroid stools. Latin name: avius coitus.

"Hey Dave, why are you scratching your crotch?" "I got thoroughly pissed on a farm last week, and woke up in a chicken coop with a serious case of spatchcock."

by Potassium Procrastinate November 1, 2017

Wisconsin Spatchcock

You brine your partner in beer then lay them flat with their arms and legs spread. You proceed to pump them full of your gravy while wearing a Brett Farve jersey and eating cheese.

After a long Thanksgiving day and a big Packer win, the old lady let me Wisconsin Spatchcock her on the kitchen floor.

by Holyhellthatsadinosoar November 25, 2025

Spatchcock

A spineless coward -- much like a spatchcocked chicken with its backbone butchered off

You spatchcock! How can you not call him a dick to his face

by napping bunny March 23, 2022

Spatchcock

When a guy is going down on you but you have nothing but two bottles of wine in your stomach, so you just vom all over his face.

"Emily, you just spatchcocked me on Thanksgiving. Now I have to get the wine out of our fake tree." -- Blake

"Just leave it for the dog. I don't even have a his anymore." -- Emily

by cm2342 November 27, 2020