Sermon on the Mount

Matthew chapters 5-7.

Where Jesus said many important and incredible things, like: "if someone takes your cloak, give them your tunic also," "be the salt and light of the earth," don't boast when you give to the poor and don't pursue revenge--etc, etc.

e.g. "Mother Teresa really took the sermon on the mount seriously."

by Truthseekernumberthree February 18, 2013

Sermon on the Mount

When a female is riding cowgirl and screaming coherent biblical terms, or terms related to religion, as if she was giving a sermon.

This girl was riding me and just broke out a sermon on the mount.

by paigeville October 22, 2009

ballgame sermon

a church sermon, that last's no more than 30 minutes, so that church going men, can make it to the TV before the game starts.

Brother Rick gave a ballgame sermon this Sunday, so I caught the kick off at the Cowboys game.

by BigJamesCru April 21, 2008

sunday sermon

The act of having sex, before 6 PM, on a Sunday.

Guy 1: "We don't usually have sex on a Sunday, but when we do, it's a Sunday Sermon."

Guy 2: "Ah man, I love a good Sunday Sermon."

by psudosex December 12, 2013

Curtain Sermon

a complaint that a women gives a man before they "go to bed"

Man, my old lady gave me a curtain sermon last night.

by Chairman November 5, 2003

I didn't ask for a sermon

When you have asked someone what something is and they respond by giving you more details of it, when only you wanted to know what it is.

Man1: Do you have a spare cigarette?

Man2: No, but smoking causes cancer and it smells and it's bad for others from second smoking and you will die.

Man1: I didn't ask for a sermon I asked for a cigarette.

by Emitts79 June 14, 2011

post-sermon relief

The only truly enjoyable part of the whole church-attendance experience (well, besides the ice cream Sunday, perhaps); that's why everyone's smiling as they exit the church --- they didn't actually enjoy being cooped up in a sweltering stuffy musty chapel for two long boring hours; they're just so relieved that it's finally over and they can go outside again.

I hear people happily praising the preacher on what a great service it was as they file out of the church,. but for most of them, it's just post-sermon relief --- the only thing they're actually happy about is that the service didn't last longer than it did!!

by QuacksO August 5, 2018