Sadsturbate

When you cry while masturbating. Usually occurs on a Saturday night after realizing that you'll die alone.

Realized I'll never find true love and decided to sadsturbate the pain and emotional turmoil away.

by Uncle Steve The Crack Addict October 15, 2017

Snasturbate

Jerking off and sharting yourself at the same time at high velocities

Bro last night was so crazy, me and a girl snasturbated together

by BananaBoi1 September 22, 2017

slapsturbate

The act of high-fiving oneself.

Beth was alone when she found out the good news, so she decided to slapsturbate.

by zomby w00f November 17, 2010

shameturbate

When you masturbate during periods of shame and self loathing.

I can't believe I ate so many big macs on my date last night. She was so turned off, I just had to go home and shameturbate.

by Funk Master J Riff July 31, 2016

Sadsturbate

Something emo kids do in the dark in their room after breaking up with their boyfriend (all emo boys are gay) for the eighth time that week.
The process involves crying profusely and masturbating simultaneously, using the tears as lube.
This has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory animals.

Shane's such a little bitch, he sadsturbates in his room. His dick is covered in mascara.

by Addison Trent January 16, 2009

sadsturbate

What people in long-distance relationships do during weekdays.

Kelsey's boyfriend hasn't visited recently... She must sadsturbate a lot.

by kxpe May 2, 2011

Sadsturbate

The act of masturbating while sad or depressed. Blood is often used as a lubricant for this activity.

After she broke up with me i sadsturbated violently and used my blood as lubricant.

by Dillypoo November 3, 2009