samsonite

Someone with baggage, either emotional or physical.

Joe: She's hot.
Pete: She's also a Samsonite.
Joe: Kids?
Pete: Two.
{pause}
Joe: She's a MILF.

by CarmCarm January 8, 2007

Simpsonitis

Originating in the Yonge and Eglinton area of Toronto Canada. It Is the act of getting very high on Percocet and drunk off Smirnoff Ice or Coors Light. It entails calling everyone around you a “cunt” while feverishly scratching there neck, face, and penis due to the Percocet high. A small penis accompanies this disorder along with mild confusion and retardation. Affected hosts also try and use speech to text on there IPhones but can not properly be understood due to having a partial cock in there mouth. (Sometimes just the tip)

GROUP TEXT CONVERSATION:

Jason: I’m gonna now the wall with beard candy ape ape!
Bosco: wtf?!? Is this Yorkie?

Carlos: jason take the whole cock out of your mouth bro

Jason: cunt I’m going to climb a tree with my pony and cjdnfkxcn

Jj: even the tip pops!... even the tip....

Matt: I’m so high right now...

Bosco: cunts got a case of the Simpsonitis!

by Double triple August 17, 2020

Nashville Samsonite

A trash bag used for carrying dirty laundry home - used by hobos and/or college students in the place of conventional luggage, due to lack of funds.

"Hebbard has must be laundry at home this weekend - i saw him putting dirty clothes in his nashville samsonite. Oh P.S. he's poor."

by Hebbard March 22, 2004

Samsonited

When you totally miss the meaning of something, missed a shot, or were just plain "Way off" when talking about anything. In regards to the dumb and dumber movie when Lloyd says "slippy, slappy, swenson, swanson....check the brief case...Samsonite..i was way off"

"I dont know how you mistakened her for being pregnant...Dudeee you really Samsonited that one.

by dumbanddumber October 17, 2012

Samsonite syndrome

people who tan WAAAAAAAY too much and have leathery skin like a suitcase.

did you see that old cougar at the pool? She totally has Samsonite syndrome, all she needs is a handle.

by tamtamcracker August 10, 2009

jessica simpsonitis

Hot girl without a clue.

She has a bad case of Jessica Simpsonitis!

by Hurrel January 14, 2005

bilateral samsonite

Known to EMTs and paramedics, the individual who needlessly calls 911 for an imagined emergency and is waiting on the curb with two packed suitcases when the ambulance arrives, assuming that he or she will be staying in the hospital for some time (where hopefully personal attention, sympathy, food, and pain medications will be administered).

We thought we were responding to a heart attack, but we actually had a bilateral samsonite.

Her bogus respiratory distress complaint was actually a bilateral samsonite.

by Artmedic March 25, 2010