A society for people with high IQs, which they define as being within the top 2% of the "general population." It is a haven for snobbish elitists who feel that it is their God-given right to belittle people who aren't as "smart" as they are (see: mensa troll, asshole, and superiority complex). In fact, the average Mensa gathering is just an exclusionist circle jerk where people talk about how goddamn smart they are and how stupid everyone else is, usually with a glass of brandy in one hand and a copy of Aristotle in the other (monocle and pretentious goatee optional). Beware when encountering a Mensa member on the street; if he does not eye you with contempt and shove past you in a huff, he will shove his status as a member down your throat in a long-winded self-aggrandizing monologue.
Me: Hey man, do you have the time?
Mensa Troll: Why, yes I do. But I'm not going to give it to you until you apologize for addressing me in such a crude manner.
Me: Uh... what?
Mensa Troll: Begone, you filthy pissant. My genius cannot be stifled by the suffocating weight of your ignorance.
Me: Ugh. You must be from Mensa...
Mensa Troll: Wow, how did you know?
Me: I dunno, just a feeling...
Mensa Troll: Why, yes I do. But I'm not going to give it to you until you apologize for addressing me in such a crude manner.
Me: Uh... what?
Mensa Troll: Begone, you filthy pissant. My genius cannot be stifled by the suffocating weight of your ignorance.
Me: Ugh. You must be from Mensa...
Mensa Troll: Wow, how did you know?
Me: I dunno, just a feeling...
by Ninja Disaster December 14, 2004
Get the Mensamug. A group for douchebags who really, REALLY feel the need to pay a yearly fee to know that they're better than everyone else. Mensa members blame the "general public" who can't get accepted for accusations of their organization being riddled with douchebaggery and stupidity, but seem to forget that they are just under 0.018% of the American population, and the 2% of the population that CAN join hasn't for a reason.
On their "Join" page, there's a cute video of Leif Gantvoort telling you how easy it is to get into Mensa. He smiles, saying, "I will get into an argument with my wife and she'll call me an idiot -- that's when I whip out my Mensa card," proving to the world that he is a shaggy haired-walking pair of dick and balls. He brings another fellow ball of 19 year old afterbirth on the screen, who says that all members teach. This seems promising until dick and balls drops a load on the it, saying sarcastically, "I'm pretty sure it's a coincidence her last name is 'Wise.'"
An Asian cuckold appears on the screen, the "Mr. Mensa" of 2010. This creampie-eating dick and balls licker is so gracious that amazing people like Peter Bainbridge, a prominent Mensa member who is most often remember for referring to people with IQs of 60 as "carrots" (effectively insulting every disabled individual or individual with an actual moral code), his friend. You should be glad that you'll get some friends, because I promise you that when you join Mensa, you'll need them.
On their "Join" page, there's a cute video of Leif Gantvoort telling you how easy it is to get into Mensa. He smiles, saying, "I will get into an argument with my wife and she'll call me an idiot -- that's when I whip out my Mensa card," proving to the world that he is a shaggy haired-walking pair of dick and balls. He brings another fellow ball of 19 year old afterbirth on the screen, who says that all members teach. This seems promising until dick and balls drops a load on the it, saying sarcastically, "I'm pretty sure it's a coincidence her last name is 'Wise.'"
An Asian cuckold appears on the screen, the "Mr. Mensa" of 2010. This creampie-eating dick and balls licker is so gracious that amazing people like Peter Bainbridge, a prominent Mensa member who is most often remember for referring to people with IQs of 60 as "carrots" (effectively insulting every disabled individual or individual with an actual moral code), his friend. You should be glad that you'll get some friends, because I promise you that when you join Mensa, you'll need them.
"While I qualify to join Mensa, I don't feel the need to pay an outrageous official Mensa test and yearly fee. I'd rather save my money, invest it, or spend it on something related to my field of interest rather than talk to a room full of pseudo-experts for an hour every week."
"Mensa has over 200 Special Interest Groups, from biology to psychology!" "That's incredible! I've heard that the Internet has over 7.5 billion groups tailored to your interests, from molecular biology in a cabin made from spruce logs to the psychology of snuff films when shown to kittens. Plus, you get the same experience of being ruthlessly lied to about accomplishments!"
"I'm sorry, you're denying me access to this VIP event? Maybe you haven't seen my... ...MENSA CARD?!" "My apologies, sir. I recognize that you are an extremely important individual because you have paid to be in a club that advertises as being 'easier than ever' to enter. Here, take this cat o' nine tail whip to lash me forty times as I kick out Bill Gates from his luxury box and fetch you some champagne. After all, you are one of the most elite forms of humans- a member of Mensa."
"God-doesn't-exist, I have been declared the chosen one! Mensa has selected me for their top-secret exclusive organization! This is a once in a lifetime chance! Now all I have to do is wait for my check to clear." ~Every Mensa Member Ever
"Wow, Bob, you joined Mensa? Funny, I thought you'd be smart enough to know that money can't buy you friends."
"Mensa has over 200 Special Interest Groups, from biology to psychology!" "That's incredible! I've heard that the Internet has over 7.5 billion groups tailored to your interests, from molecular biology in a cabin made from spruce logs to the psychology of snuff films when shown to kittens. Plus, you get the same experience of being ruthlessly lied to about accomplishments!"
"I'm sorry, you're denying me access to this VIP event? Maybe you haven't seen my... ...MENSA CARD?!" "My apologies, sir. I recognize that you are an extremely important individual because you have paid to be in a club that advertises as being 'easier than ever' to enter. Here, take this cat o' nine tail whip to lash me forty times as I kick out Bill Gates from his luxury box and fetch you some champagne. After all, you are one of the most elite forms of humans- a member of Mensa."
"God-doesn't-exist, I have been declared the chosen one! Mensa has selected me for their top-secret exclusive organization! This is a once in a lifetime chance! Now all I have to do is wait for my check to clear." ~Every Mensa Member Ever
"Wow, Bob, you joined Mensa? Funny, I thought you'd be smart enough to know that money can't buy you friends."
by oddmask October 1, 2013
Get the Mensamug. Mensa is a totally unbiased organization that has only one prerequisite for entry, an IQ at or above the 98th percentile.
Often knocked by those who have no hope of ever being accepted like Ravenwolf B, it has many SIGs (special interest groups) that offer a change of pace from the normal beer-swilling, bleep-injected conversation found in most sports bars or water cooler banter discussing the previous night's Simpson's episode, the latest video game or wardrobe malfunction on some TV show.
I don't know that the world would be any better off if everyone had a Mensa-like IQ, I just suspect it couldn't be any worse.
Often knocked by those who have no hope of ever being accepted like Ravenwolf B, it has many SIGs (special interest groups) that offer a change of pace from the normal beer-swilling, bleep-injected conversation found in most sports bars or water cooler banter discussing the previous night's Simpson's episode, the latest video game or wardrobe malfunction on some TV show.
I don't know that the world would be any better off if everyone had a Mensa-like IQ, I just suspect it couldn't be any worse.
Definitions sometimes attributed to the Mensa Dictionary.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who just doesn’t get it
Ostiopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Reintarnation: Coming back in the next life as a hillbilly
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who just doesn’t get it
Ostiopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Reintarnation: Coming back in the next life as a hillbilly
by TripNines March 15, 2011
Get the Mensamug. " my guy you're such a vic mensa"
" no i can't be because i don't diss dead people in front of their own mom for some clout"
" no i can't be because i don't diss dead people in front of their own mom for some clout"
by 2niggaskissing October 13, 2018
Get the vic mensamug. Toots had a nervous breakdown, so every Friday she goes to Australian Mensa.
After the psychiatric ward, the looneys go to Australian Mensa for outpatient care.
After the psychiatric ward, the looneys go to Australian Mensa for outpatient care.
by Tom from the Shore November 9, 2007
Get the Australian Mensamug. by GP5K August 7, 2010
Get the Mensa cyclemug. A mother who is convinced that her child is a genius. Mensa Mommy has given birth to Jesus H. Christ, or at least the next best thing. Her child will walk before yours, talk before yours, sleep through the night before yours, breastfeed better, and generally stomp the crap out of your child before the age of 2 and for the rest of your lives. No matter what cute, adorable, or truly remarkable thing your child does, she has a story to one up you.
The Mensa Mommy outrageously insisted that her 4 month old was clearly articulating the words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
by Lawyer Mama March 1, 2008
Get the mensa mommymug.