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jesusfreak

A highly obnoxious person who never shuts up about Jesus, God, church, or any combination of these. They constantly try to convert people to their religion, and often mistake politeness as an agreement to join their cultish Jesus-freak ways.

A common trait in Jesus Freaks is their total lack of interest in actually following the morals and such of their own religion, even though they pretend to (i.e., lying, adultery, etc). They also believe that Jesus and God make everything better, and anything negative in their lives must be pinned on Satan.

Of course, they only use God and Jesus and religion as a crutch because they can't handle the harsh reality that is called life.
Jesusfreak: I was reborn in Christ, and now everything is magically better!

Not-Jesusfreak: ...I don't believe in God, jesusfreak.

Jesusfreal: Get thee away, SATAN!

(Bible verse-quoting and holy water-throwing ensues.)
by Moo Moo Muffin June 27, 2008
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Holy JesusCakes!

An exclamation of epic, holy, cakeworthy proportions.
Nathan: Dude. Miley Cyrus was just crucified for being Satan.

Chandler: HOLY JESUSCAKES! THE WORLD HAS JUST BEEN CLEANSED OF THE SCOURGE OF THE EARTH!
by Piss T. Aker January 2, 2010
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Jesuswhore

n. one who brings up Jesus or even religion in normal converstaion in a non-mocking way. Also acts as though they are 'loved' by Jesus more then normal people.
1) Goddamn, that chick is a Jesuswhore, she kept asking me if I've 'accepted him' as my saviour when I asked her about shampoo.
by KatieCARCRASH August 3, 2007
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Jesuschrist

The robot from the future who defeats the wicked with kisses and tenderness
He solves problems with peace and love
If your dog dies, call Jesuschrist and he will heal it
When your father beats you he will turn him into a turtle
by Amlover January 28, 2022
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jesusposer

A un-inverted lukewarm homofag who blindly follows the beliefs of a bunch of pedophiles.
Look at that jesusposer, he believes in god...gayfag.
by Doogy McDoogy August 1, 2006
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jesuscreel

Someone who pretends to be a thug but really scared to admit he beat guys off so they would beat him up
Bro you were a Jesuscreel by eating the cops ass.
by Lil joker February 16, 2021
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Jesusbread

Bread made at Jesus house south of texas just on the mexican side of the border close to a border city of your choice.
Jesus have you tried this horrible jesusbread? Of course i have said jesus i made it. I thought we where homies essay, now ya makin me feel loco and im getting a very distinctive headache that oddly enough i cant describe with words but if i had to id say it felt like green. And i have a copper taste in my mouth.
by Jaythepirate Roberts February 28, 2017
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