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fucked-up fuckup monkey fuck

Phrase made necessary by those people or situations that have surpassed conventional methods of assessment.

fucked up Def #1/5 fuck up Def #4 monkey fuck Def #1

1. An inept person who is totally incapable of living without fucking up or messing up everything within their grasp.
One whose actions has culminated in the acheivement of this, the highest plateau of fucking up.
2. When a situation is completely messed up from a-z and there is zero chance of recovery.
1. They put a fucked-up fuckup monkey fuck in charge who had no idea how to manage, so the place went tits-up.
2. The whole job had been ruined by mismanagement. There was absolutely nothing correct, and it was beyond salvage. It was a total fucked-up fuckup monkey fuck.
by T. Walsh / Ronan XVII January 4, 2005
mugGet the fucked-up fuckup monkey fuckmug.

Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.
by TauntonJah November 5, 2019
mugGet the Jesus fucked a monkey!mug.

fuck my monkey

1. Yet another exclaimation of extreme disappointment. Usually uttered after a disheartending discovery.

2. Used in place of "I'll be!", or "you are kidding me".
"You dumped a bowl of icecream on the carpet?? Aw, fuck my monkey!"

"Well, fucky my monkey.... I just saw my cousin on TV!"
by towanda March 23, 2005
mugGet the fuck my monkeymug.

fuck monkey

A fuck monkey is a rude and irritating person. They usually are someone who touch people in weird and aggravating ways. (Such as flicking them or slapping their neck randomly.) They are usually very loud as well.
Kyle: *walks by Peter and slaps his neck*
Peter: Screw you, fuck monkey!
by SlutVista March 10, 2016
mugGet the fuck monkeymug.

Fucking Monkey

>n. (pl. Fucking Monkeys)
2 The Nature Conservancy organization revealed to the scientific community in February 8, 2010 that Pan pugus is actually a parasitic mammalian organism that latches on to a desired target. Behavioural analysts of the Nature Conservancy published an article denouncing the species to be a "pest to wildlife, even humans." At maturity, the Fucking Monkey metamorphoses its anatomical structure into a horrendous appearance, and begins looking for a "mate" (prey). If the prey is Homo sapien, the Fucking monkey proceeds to figuratively "latch on" to its target, and siphons time, and capital slowly. The unfortunate victim will not realize malevolent effects until all his or her time and capital have been siphoned away. Pan pugnus will then "break up", or latch off from its victim. Finished prey will be nothing but a shell, and may be emotionally unstable, until companions console him or her.
Me - "That Fucking Monkey is so ugly..."

You - "It's because it metamorphosed."

Me - *vomit*
by GorlamiMargarettiDominic February 9, 2010
mugGet the Fucking Monkeymug.

fuck monkey

A girl who looks like she'll fulfill every sordid whim.
Used as a very simple scale:
Fuck Monkey or Sex Pixie.
Fuck Monkey: Usually in their late teens or early twenties, F.A.B. (firm and bendy).
Sex Pixie: As above, but not as obvious in their intent.
Oi! lads check out the fuck monkey at the bar. I bet she'll go around the world.
by Dom Drums April 19, 2006
mugGet the fuck monkeymug.

fuck monkey

A way of calling some one stupid or a sex slave.
You stupid fuck monkey.

Hes my little fuck monkey.
by Dare Devil February 19, 2003
mugGet the fuck monkeymug.

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