Festive Faeces
The art and science of defecating on another's doorstep on Christmas Day. Several sources credit the first use of the word to the urban legend Leeds Dr Rudeboy.
Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;
1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.
2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.
3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.
4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.
*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.
Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;
1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.
2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.
3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.
4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.
*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.
1st person: Well, that fine selection of of Cliff Richard records certainly has put me in the mood for the Queen's Speech tomorrow! Shall we retire early and let St Nicholas pay his visit?
Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!
Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!
Festive Faeces by Leeds Dr Rudeboy December 3, 2010
festive collar
When a shirt or sweater's collar is worn vertical similiar to a turtleneck, but not necessarily popped out, it is a festive collar.
Nick: I have a festive collar for the occasion.
Brian: You mean it's popped, don't you?
Nick: No... festive.
Brian: You mean it's popped, don't you?
Nick: No... festive.
festive collar by knack4life November 24, 2009
Festive Day
23rd December, the eve of Christmas Eve; JUST as exciting as Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day for that matter, Christmas Eve Eve truly deserves its own title!
Just one rule; you MUST wear something- anything- red or green (in keeping with the festiveness).
Just one rule; you MUST wear something- anything- red or green (in keeping with the festiveness).
Festive Day by Shmagoo May 14, 2011
Festive Shirt Fridays
A day when employees at concrete plants are allowed to wear bright, ugly and "festive" shirts to work.
Festive Shirt Fridays by Romeal June 30, 2004
Festive Gooch
Festive Gooch by Boggins. October 12, 2010
Festive Bush
When I walked in the room, Shaniqua's vag was stuffed full of green,red and gold tinsel it was a very Festive Bush
Festive Bush by FagFaggotSon December 15, 2014
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