A town situated in Southern Ontario on Georgian Bay. Sandwiched between the ass-cheeks of Blue Mountain and Wasaga Beach, the population is divided between 50% children who have a SoundCloud, (and will probably overdose at the age of 20), and 50% rich elders from Toronto. Majority of the population of Collingwood will most likely migrate due to the increase of house pricing, thanks to the 68 year old's named Tony, moving from their mansion in Toronto to their mansion in Collingwood. These 68 year old's named Tony, are most of the time, certified geniuses, but somehow manage to drive like fucking morons in their BMW. This place is perfect for you if you happen to be a Caucasian white female, as you can find all the kids with perms, chains, and a skateboard at Collingwood to grind your yeast infection onto. On the other end of the spectrum of kids in Collingwood, are girls who dye their hair blue and post sad edits of Bart Simpson from the show 'The Simpsons'. Their Spotify playlist is 50% dead rappers who they found out after they had died, and 50% reverbs of songs from the exact same rapper. They call themselves depressed, but in actually they just lack the attention they want. Half the time these people also go by names that they weren't given to at birth. I swear to god if I meet one more person named Lunar, Sparkle, Silver, or Rainbow Dash, I will literally crucify myself by my foreskin.
Person 1: Hey, want to go to Collingwood?
Person 2: I would rather have Dwayne Johnson shove his penis down my esophagus, while having Manny Pacquiao practice his boxing skills on my testicles, than go to Collingwood.
Person 2: I would rather have Dwayne Johnson shove his penis down my esophagus, while having Manny Pacquiao practice his boxing skills on my testicles, than go to Collingwood.
by FatherDuckSaid October 18, 2020
by Slayerdamo October 30, 2010
by I’ll have 2 number nines July 03, 2019
The best sporting team that is, has been, or ever will be. A team that plays with more spirit, fairness and magic than any other team. A team that prides itself on playing together as one, not as a team of individuals. A team that is hated by other AFL/VFL clubs for no good reason. They are hated because unlike some other teams, the club and its supporters don't buckle under or try to conform to peer group pressure to be popular, they follow their hearts and sense of what is right and just. People hate them for it because secretly thats what they want for themselves. This is why Collingwood is the best AFL/VFL team ever:
A greater all time win/loss ratio than any team in its history. Number 1 on the all time ladder for the AFL/VFL.
More grand final appearances than any other team by a factor of two. Probably another reason why we are so hated, since chances are you will play us if you get to the big one.
If Collingwood is matched up to any individual team in the AFL/VFL except Carlton you will find that Collingwood has won more games than it has lost against that individual team. Carlton has won slightly more games when it has played Collingwood, than Collingwood has against it. However Collingwood has won more games in general against all teams than Carlton and lost less in its history(Collingwood has a greater all time win/loss ratio).
Many of the grand finals we lost were by small margins, unlike other teams that don't deserve to be there to begin with.
Has won 4 premierships in a row which is an all time record for any team.
Has 14 premierships in total only two off the best.
The richest club in the AFL.
Holds more records than any other team.
Has the highest attendances of any club and as an average over its entire history more supporters.
The supporters are the most loyal group perhaps of any sporting team in the world and the most hated by other AFL/VFL teams as a result. A victim of prejudice like their club, Collingwood supporters are commonly labelled as idiots and dole bludgers despite most of them being just as intelligent and wealthy as other supporters if not more so.
If all these stats are objectively weighted in value and added together we have evidence for calling Collingwood by far the best team in AFL football ever.
A greater all time win/loss ratio than any team in its history. Number 1 on the all time ladder for the AFL/VFL.
More grand final appearances than any other team by a factor of two. Probably another reason why we are so hated, since chances are you will play us if you get to the big one.
If Collingwood is matched up to any individual team in the AFL/VFL except Carlton you will find that Collingwood has won more games than it has lost against that individual team. Carlton has won slightly more games when it has played Collingwood, than Collingwood has against it. However Collingwood has won more games in general against all teams than Carlton and lost less in its history(Collingwood has a greater all time win/loss ratio).
Many of the grand finals we lost were by small margins, unlike other teams that don't deserve to be there to begin with.
Has won 4 premierships in a row which is an all time record for any team.
Has 14 premierships in total only two off the best.
The richest club in the AFL.
Holds more records than any other team.
Has the highest attendances of any club and as an average over its entire history more supporters.
The supporters are the most loyal group perhaps of any sporting team in the world and the most hated by other AFL/VFL teams as a result. A victim of prejudice like their club, Collingwood supporters are commonly labelled as idiots and dole bludgers despite most of them being just as intelligent and wealthy as other supporters if not more so.
If all these stats are objectively weighted in value and added together we have evidence for calling Collingwood by far the best team in AFL football ever.
by Intelligent Collingwood Supporter December 16, 2007
A town located in Ontario filled with a bunch of white kids trying to be gangsters. Very trashy and all the kids do is vape or are high. Very terrible parties and someone always throws up at one. SoundCloud is very popular here but all the kids post is trash. All the boys are stoners and all the girls are catfishes. Trap house is located across Dairy Queen. All the kids make their money by selling firechews and firebars
by Ganggang4209x6 January 22, 2019
The worst AFL team. They say they are good but the really are not. Their supporters never go to the dentist and are badly dressed. They need help.
by Steven L**** May 08, 2017
Literally 'testicles' but specifically relating to a display of testicular fortitude on the sports pitch. Named after England cricketer Paul Collingwood following an epic century against South Africa.
by Bladesmax February 04, 2009