Skip to main content

You are not the father

The words that every man loves to hear!
Maury: I hold in my hand the results to the paternity test and...

Cole: *sweating*

Maury: Cole You are not the father!

Cole: I told you bitch I wasn't!
by Ari Shaffir September 25, 2011
mugGet the You are not the father mug.

You are NOT the father

If you are on the Maury show, and as your head is producing a shower of sweat, to hear those words is like dodging a bullet Maxtrix style. You gloat and probably dance around while that hoe breaks down in tears and runs off to the backstage area to cry harder and sometimes louder.
"In the case of 7th month old child Shauna, Jason, you are NOT the father."

*She breaks down in tears and runs off backstage while Jason does a Michael Jackson impersonation and yells, "THE KID IS NOT MY SON!!!"*
by Royal_Defense710 October 18, 2014
mugGet the You are NOT the father mug.

Are you my father?

Yes, I am your father and I have brought back some milk! I also bought that lego set you want and got you a $100 dollar bill for your 10th birthday.
person 1: Are you my father?
person 2: Yes, I am. So get in my white van and ride to Toys R Us with me.
by Beastmode1158 November 2, 2020
mugGet the Are you my father? mug.
What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: My father and mother only beat me with materials and objects, you are lucky you that you get the empty hands: The First Juvenile Release
by Theusurpedmammarygland February 4, 2025
mugGet the My father and mother only beat me with materials and objects, you are lucky you that you get the empty hands: The First Juvenile Release mug.
.9.MmMake it your one and only aim this year to start each day with a smile on your face and to finish each day the same way. Recognize that no matter what other people might say or do you alone are in charge of your fate.9.
.9.MmMake it your one and only aim this year to start each day with a smile on your face and to finish each day the same way. Recognize that no matter what other people might say or do you alone are in charge of your fate.9.
by 0AmanasazA0 November 14, 2025
mugGet the .9.mMmake it your one and only aim this year to start each day with a smile on your face and to finish each day the same way. Recognize that no matter what other people might say or do you alone are in charge of your fate.9. mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email