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Tortoise 

whilst having sex. you slide in really slow and get there (ejaculate) before the Hair(hare).
"my girfriend wanted so much foreplay, that I totally went Tortoise on her."
Tortoise by cyantific October 6, 2008

Tortoise 

Band that can play pretty damn good, but sucks too much to put in any vocals.
I downloaded the new Tortoise album 3 weeks before it came out.
Tortoise by Clayborne Harris March 31, 2004

Tortoise 

Stalker slang for someone who has been successfully intimidated into confining themself to their home, venturing out rarely, like a tortoise sticking their head out of its shell.
My ex-partner is such a tortoise, I wait outside their house for days and never see them until they dash out for groceries. Job done.
Tortoise by motormind June 2, 2015

Tortoise 

Tortoises are horrible, disgusting abominations ruled by the tyrant Presidant of the United Testudines of America, Donald J. Tortoise. These horrid BEAST where once peaceful with the turtles and terrapins, until they suddenly attacked, why they did this is still unknown, but Presidant Donald Tortoise is proven to be a part of it by Queen Turtahl IV of the TU/Testudine Kingdom's spy's. Hopefully someday the Turtles will successfully rise against these terrible tyrants. The shibe in the gif by the way, the tortoise is taking it as a slave.
Tortoises must all burn in hell as they are corrupted far to much to ever make peace. Turtles and terrapins are godly!
Tortoise by Hi, I'm Steve May 9, 2018

Tortoise 

Woman 60 years plus on the hunt for younger man.
She is a tortoise, her new boyfriend is 22 and she is 63

Tortoise 

A name given to the species usopp
"My new pet usopp (a tortoise)"
Tortoise by WildWillez December 13, 2020