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Textile Dysfunction

Inability to maintain lasting performance in clothing, leading to social and psychological consequences. Mizzen+Main has cured thousands of men suffering from Textile Dysfuction in their dress shirts.

Side effects may include bloated self-esteem, excessive confidence, modeling contracts, adoration, winning at everything, and a higher sense of well-being.
Hey man, looks like you've got a bad case of Textile Dysfunction. In other words, you look like shit! Have you heard of Mizzen+Main? They've got a cure!
by Money_Mike_ November 9, 2018
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Finnish Textile Plant

A person committing the act of a Finnish Textile Plant first punches his female victim in the gut, straight through to her ovaries, then jizzes directly in the hole thus ensuring pregnancy.
"We weren't sure if the mother was going to be able to live through the pregnancy after receiving the Finnish Textile Plant from her husband however we've realized the hole simplifies the birthday process."

-astounded medical professional

very similar to it's counterpart, the HTTP: Hyper Turkish Textile Plant
by TextileWorker September 25, 2011
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Hyper Turkish Textile Plant

A person committing the act of a Hyper Turkish Textile Plant first punches his female victim in the gut, straight through to her ovaries, then shits directly in the hole.
The police arrived at the scene of the sexual assault to find the victim seemingly pooping out of her belly and anus simultaneously due to the results of the Hyper Turkish Textile Plant.

Closely related to it's counterpart, the FTP: Finnish Textile Plant
by TextileWorker September 25, 2011
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Textie-Poo

The act of sending a text message while pooping.
If it wasn't for Randy's textie-poo, I wouldn't have known he was having an asthma attack.
by ious d June 28, 2011
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textglected

Feeling as though you are not receiving a proportionate number of texts in response to the number of texts which you send; intentionally not responding to a text or individual because they are just annoying or tend to over-text.
"I sent out over 70 texts to Kevin and he's only responded to two of them. I am feeling totally textglected.
by orientxp February 19, 2011
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Textident

Accidentally text messaging the wrong person - generally due to the fact you have two of the same names in your phone book
I made a big textident and invited the wrong beotch to my party...
by killakai February 11, 2007
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