i'm not here to fuck spiders

(Australian) "I'm already doing that" or "Obviously, yeah"

At the bar with a friend
Mate: do you want to get a beer?
Me: well, I'm not here to fuck spiders!

by rahx April 9, 2015

Weaving Spiders

Weaving Spiders refers to Business types (individuals) networking and working on business dealings. They are spinning webs (telling their stories) of tales of success and future business opportunities.

The Bohemian Club, of fame and fortune in San Francisco, Est 1878, has a club motto of: “Weaving Spiders Come Not Here”. This implies that you are to leave your business dealing and networking tactics at the door, for this place is to be for enjoyment and relaxation.

Etymology:

The Term itself derives from Shakespeare in the Play: A Midsummers Night’s Dream, Act 2 SCENE II. Another part of the wood

Come our lovely lady nigh;
So, good night, with lullaby.
Weaving spiders, come not here;
Hence, you long-legg'd spinners, hence

The place is full of Weaving Spiders cutting their deal and planning for their next finical conquests.

Where do the Corporate types hang out in San Francisco weaving their webs and rubbing shoulders with the other Weaving Spiders?

by CarizmaGuy November 2, 2016

Not here to fuck spiders

Intentionally offbeat, blunt, and sarcastic Australian humor to exclaim that you mean business and you're not here to waste time.

It's also rhyming slang with "not here to kick the tires" of a car for sale, which has a similar meaning.

1. "So, are we going to the pub or what?"...Jono
"We're not here to fuck spiders mate, let's fuck this puppy."...Sambo

2. "Your first month on the job has been fantastic. Sales have gone through the roof"...Manager
"Well, I'm not here to fuck spiders. When I'm I going to get my commission check?...Sales rep

by Khe Sanh July 29, 2020

Vagina Spiders

Vagina Spiders are spider-like creatures that live in middle-aged women's vaginas. They are mainly caused by being lazy, arrogant, and sleeping with men out of their league. Vagina Spiders are extremely territorial, biting anyone that steps in their presence; or should I say "sticks" in their presence. They reproduce by laying eggs in mattresses, though they must change bedding grounds every 5 years. A vagina spider fears nothing, so they are dangerous to all men. If you wake up in the morning in her bed and you have bite marks; immediately go to the hospital. Also, DO NOT come into contact with other men, because you were attacked by a Vagina spider and now carry them. If the woman you were sleeping with has Vagina Spiders, DO NOT come in close contact with her. Not only will the spiders know you are in their presence again, but their next attack will be deadly.

Guy: "Did you sleep with that girl Tina?"
Another Guy: "Yeah! That bitch had Vagina Spiders!"
Guy: "Oh hell no!"

by Lardassinator-9000 April 17, 2022

Rocky Mountain Barking Spiders

A "something" on which to blame farts.
Rather than accept blame for farting(noisily), one exclaims that they had witnessed a creature in close proximity by invoking it's name and looking behind.

Interchangeable with local fauna.

FFRRRTTTTT...
"OH! Darn Rocky Mountain Barking Spiders sneaking up on me again."

by Psykram May 12, 2010

Fuck Spiders

To piss or fuck around doing absolutly nothing. Going to a place and staring at your mates with a blank look. A call to arms or time of action needed.

Guys we are not here to fuck spiders!

by Sponge69 October 14, 2011

Spiderspit

1.A some-what mythical creature. Looks of a fat boy with the nose of a pig and has uncontrollable drooling problems.

Said to have problems with girls and cannot dance.

2. An absolutly replusive person.

1. girl1; "How was your date with Jimmm?"
girl2; "Oh no, we went dancing and Jimmm was such a spiderspit, I had to ditch him."

2. I would never love a spiderspit, he's too ugly, and trust me, he's a baaaaad kisser. :/

by HayWal February 21, 2009