1 definition by Lardassinator-9000
Vagina Spiders are spider-like creatures that live in middle-aged women's vaginas. They are mainly caused by being lazy, arrogant, and sleeping with men out of their league. Vagina Spiders are extremely territorial, biting anyone that steps in their presence; or should I say "sticks" in their presence. They reproduce by laying eggs in mattresses, though they must change bedding grounds every 5 years. A vagina spider fears nothing, so they are dangerous to all men. If you wake up in the morning in her bed and you have bite marks; immediately go to the hospital. Also, DO NOT come into contact with other men, because you were attacked by a Vagina spider and now carry them. If the woman you were sleeping with has Vagina Spiders, DO NOT come in close contact with her. Not only will the spiders know you are in their presence again, but their next attack will be deadly.
Guy: "Did you sleep with that girl Tina?"
Another Guy: "Yeah! That bitch had Vagina Spiders!"
Guy: "Oh hell no!"
Another Guy: "Yeah! That bitch had Vagina Spiders!"
Guy: "Oh hell no!"
by Lardassinator-9000 April 18, 2022