The slightly depressing sequel to the popular Twilight, written by Stephenie Meyer in which Edward(Bella's true love who just happens to be a 'vegetarian' vampire) leaves her and Bella(who is barely holding on to sanity) befriends Jacob Black(a werewolf) is stalked by a vengeful vampire named Victoria(whose mate, James, was killed in the first book). Edward thinks(through miscommunication) that Bella has killed herself and tries to get himself murdered but(luckily) Bella intercedes and they return home.
Twilight-crazed teen girl: "OMG!!! I just finished New Moon!!! It was so sad!!! I can't believe that he left her!!! Well, at least they are back with each other... I wonder what will happen in Eclipse!!!
by bf42 October 9, 2008
Get the New Moon mug.New Moon is the second novel in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. It is another desperate rant about how Bella's life has gone awry yet again (oh noes =O) because Edward, being a pussy and unable to handle their relationship "difficulties", ditched her and promised to never come back. (Good riddance.)
Bella turns into a zombie because she is completely oblivious of the real world (ie. Zomg I have friends at school? (or HAD) -- since her senses filter out anything that is NOT Edward) and because she had a non-existent personality to begin with. She soon falls dependent on her werewolf rebound, Jacob, who actually thinks it's a score to hang out with Bella. (What d'ya know, another disgrace to supernatural beings.) He has no idea that Bella is just using him as a source of sanity and for opportunities of suicide (because she's so incompetent she lacks the know-how of self-destruction.)
Edward couldn't deal with his epic fail any better, but at least he had the willpower to rid the world of himself. Instead of moving on to, oh, let's say, a more worthy significant other (which should be hella easy to find, after BELLA) he decides to completely waste himself. His actions displayed a form of character UNdevelopment which was somehow interpreted as passion by some people. T_____T
The middle chapters are predictable as hell. Current readers: for your benefit, just guess what happens and skip to the end. Or better yet, ditch the book and read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia to discover that you have saved a great deal of time and brain cells. Really.
Bella turns into a zombie because she is completely oblivious of the real world (ie. Zomg I have friends at school? (or HAD) -- since her senses filter out anything that is NOT Edward) and because she had a non-existent personality to begin with. She soon falls dependent on her werewolf rebound, Jacob, who actually thinks it's a score to hang out with Bella. (What d'ya know, another disgrace to supernatural beings.) He has no idea that Bella is just using him as a source of sanity and for opportunities of suicide (because she's so incompetent she lacks the know-how of self-destruction.)
Edward couldn't deal with his epic fail any better, but at least he had the willpower to rid the world of himself. Instead of moving on to, oh, let's say, a more worthy significant other (which should be hella easy to find, after BELLA) he decides to completely waste himself. His actions displayed a form of character UNdevelopment which was somehow interpreted as passion by some people. T_____T
The middle chapters are predictable as hell. Current readers: for your benefit, just guess what happens and skip to the end. Or better yet, ditch the book and read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia to discover that you have saved a great deal of time and brain cells. Really.
Edward: Sht this isn't working. K um.. bye!
Bella: O_O Edward... gone? Bella... no live... *commences severe mental and social retardation*
Jacob: YO sweet, a damsel in distress.
Bella: Edddwwaaaarrdddd....OO JACOB! But... Edddwwaaardddd T.T i should go die. <-*sole idea of reason in the whole book*
The rest of New Moon: *random filler action and oh-so-much more corny dialogue*
and GUESS WHAT!? EDWARD AND BELLA GET BACK TOGETHER! WHO'DA THOUGHT!?!?!
Reader: *Resists urge to kill something*
Bella: O_O Edward... gone? Bella... no live... *commences severe mental and social retardation*
Jacob: YO sweet, a damsel in distress.
Bella: Edddwwaaaarrdddd....OO JACOB! But... Edddwwaaardddd T.T i should go die. <-*sole idea of reason in the whole book*
The rest of New Moon: *random filler action and oh-so-much more corny dialogue*
and GUESS WHAT!? EDWARD AND BELLA GET BACK TOGETHER! WHO'DA THOUGHT!?!?!
Reader: *Resists urge to kill something*
by Angemichelo January 17, 2009
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A Newmon is an individual that is usually brown. He is normally found in a hut filled with smoke, playing a middle-eastern board game until the death of his opponent. He also enjoys billiards... often he will get upset and yell "bok choy" when an asian female beats him.
by mama hooks February 3, 2010
Get the Newmon mug.The act of smearing feces (your own or a friends) all over your ass cheeks until your white pasty butt now appears completely black. Then proceed to moon an unsuspecting person. The shit-covered ass appears at first glance to be not the typical full moon, but a dark new moon.
*If a person is truly creative, they can use varying amounts of poo to recreate all phases of the moon (New, waxing crescent 1st quarter, waxing gibbous, full, waning gibbous, 3rd quarter, waning crescent, and new)
*If a person is truly creative, they can use varying amounts of poo to recreate all phases of the moon (New, waxing crescent 1st quarter, waxing gibbous, full, waning gibbous, 3rd quarter, waning crescent, and new)
a cop is sitting outside of Dunkin Donuts and looks up when a car driving by honks.
"hey copper, check this out!" the driver motions to the passenger in the back who put his shit covered ass out the window.
"Oh damn, Tell your black friend that he's gonna pay for that!"
"My friend isn't black, silly! You just got the Philadelphia New Moon!"
"Eww Gross!" the cop shakes his night stick angrily!
"hey copper, check this out!" the driver motions to the passenger in the back who put his shit covered ass out the window.
"Oh damn, Tell your black friend that he's gonna pay for that!"
"My friend isn't black, silly! You just got the Philadelphia New Moon!"
"Eww Gross!" the cop shakes his night stick angrily!
by RedDan69 April 22, 2011
Get the Philadelphia New Moon mug.Perhaps the most depressing book in the entire Twilight series, New Moon tells the story of Bella Swan as she learns to adapt to life after her true love, Edward, leaves her. She finds friendship in a family friend Jacob Black and then procedes to spend all of her time with him until he goes through a strange transformation that will change their relationship forever. As well as the characters that are expected to return several surprises are thrown at Bella. This is a great book but is personally my least favorite in the series because Edwards is truely the core of Bella's life and it is difficult to see her in pain.
by Lily Cullen August 27, 2008
Get the New Moon mug.The act of mooning someone sleeping and taking a picture of it and showing everyone except your victim.
by Puffthecarrier1 January 7, 2011
Get the New Moon mug.by BlorangeCrayon December 27, 2009
Get the Newmoonia mug.