Apex matchmaking

Something so fucking unbelievably unbalanced and unfair you wonder how it ever existed/happened in the first place or how it was ever created

Guy one: “Did you hear josh got mugged and beat up by 200 people his sleep?”

Guy two: “Wow that’s some ‘Apex matchmaking’ right there”

by Maris February 22, 2021

matchablossom

A ship name for Joe and Cherry from Sk8 the Infinity♾️

Weeb 1:Hey do you ship anyone in Sk8?
Weeb 2: Definitely Matchablossom.

by Otakuforwhat March 26, 2021

Once a Marathon Match

Based on the 11 hour 5 min match at Wimbledon featuring Nicholas Mahut (FRA) and John Isner (USA) where they played 138 games in the fifth set alone and where most records were completely shattered.
It refers to anything an event or oddity that will almost positively never happen again.

The strange disappearance of an entire civilized city in Mexico was a once a marathon match

by akararules June 27, 2010

Carpet Match the Drapes

Term used when someone is asking whether a person's pubic hair color matches the color of the hair on their head. This question is usually asked of a person with red hair.

Hey Charlie, I saw you went home with that cute redheaded chick from the bar last night. Did the carpet match the drapes?

by Midnight310 August 16, 2011

Match-Pump Approach

Hypocrisy or a hypocritical way of doing things. You cause some bad problems to occur, while making sure that nobody knows that you are the cause of them, and then come up solutions to them so that you will be seen as as a saviour by all around you, as if you set fire on something with a match yourself and pumped water onto it as a hero citizen, pretending that you happen to be there.

"I suspect it was John who made the car tyre flat, just before our driving trip last week. He did that probably so that he could come to the rescue in his car and impress all the girls like a hero. What a match-pump approach that was!"

by Hiroicci July 24, 2014

Wet match in a dark room

Someone who is so incredibly stupid that only an obscure analogy could describe their low level IQ. Just as a wet match in a dark room is the antithesis of light, an incredibly stupid person is the antithesis of an intellectual.

" Did you hear about that guy that played Russian roulette with a semi-automatic pistol?"

"Yeah, that dude was a wet match in a dark room. What a fucking moron."

by armyowalgreens April 25, 2010

Mix and match weapon

A weapon that is a mashup of normal weapons.

Quite possibly the best mix and match weapon is The Dual-Wield Chainsaw Shotgun Laser Earrings with detachable missile launchers and drink dispensers.

by Someone404 March 10, 2020