What you say when you see something awesome or unbelievable, or when something really bad or stupid happens to you. Also the name of your landscaper or gardener if you pronounce the "J" as an "H."
"Jesus that girl's tits are huge!"
"Jesus, that dumb bitch just about wrecked!"
"Jesus, please trim the hedges when you are done edging the flower bed."
"Jesus, that dumb bitch just about wrecked!"
"Jesus, please trim the hedges when you are done edging the flower bed."
by fhkq October 07, 2018
by scroteymcboogerballs May 30, 2011
1. Jesus is a Hebrew name, which means "the Lord saves."
2. He is believed to be the "Messiah"(or Ha-Mashia) that had been foretold and written by the prophets in astounding accuracy from birth to death and resurrection on scrolls thousands of years before it came to pass. Jews do not believe Jesus as the Messiah and are still waiting for the Messiah to come. Three major books that Jews and Christians read are the books of the Law (Torah), the Prophets (Nevi'im), and the Writings (Kethuvim). The two groups disagree because Jews are waiting for a ruler to come and be enthroned as a ruler forever according to II Samuel 7:16: "Your house and your kingdom will endure forever." It was nearly unimaginable for anyone at that time to even think a Messiah would die in a death sentence shamefully stripped naked amongst the criminals. It's, however, written in Isiah: "he was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter... he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors."
3. Jesus Christ is NOT the first and the last name. Christ means the "Anointed One" - Aramaic word for Messiah. Jesus is the Christ, the Anointed One. Long ago, Israel had three offices that were anointed. They were the priests, prophets, and the kings. Therefore, Christ is the ultimate Anointed One who who's had all three functions: 1) Priest= way to God 2) Prophet= way from God 3) King= ruler with all authority both in heaven and earth.
2. He is believed to be the "Messiah"(or Ha-Mashia) that had been foretold and written by the prophets in astounding accuracy from birth to death and resurrection on scrolls thousands of years before it came to pass. Jews do not believe Jesus as the Messiah and are still waiting for the Messiah to come. Three major books that Jews and Christians read are the books of the Law (Torah), the Prophets (Nevi'im), and the Writings (Kethuvim). The two groups disagree because Jews are waiting for a ruler to come and be enthroned as a ruler forever according to II Samuel 7:16: "Your house and your kingdom will endure forever." It was nearly unimaginable for anyone at that time to even think a Messiah would die in a death sentence shamefully stripped naked amongst the criminals. It's, however, written in Isiah: "he was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter... he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors."
3. Jesus Christ is NOT the first and the last name. Christ means the "Anointed One" - Aramaic word for Messiah. Jesus is the Christ, the Anointed One. Long ago, Israel had three offices that were anointed. They were the priests, prophets, and the kings. Therefore, Christ is the ultimate Anointed One who who's had all three functions: 1) Priest= way to God 2) Prophet= way from God 3) King= ruler with all authority both in heaven and earth.
"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, ou will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved." Romans 10:9-10
by PMC October 13, 2005
Guy: "Yo Jesus! You got any weed for me bitch?"
Jesus: *in mexican accent* "yea man, Uncle Tony hooked me up again bro"
Jesus: *in mexican accent* "yea man, Uncle Tony hooked me up again bro"
by call_me_dylan April 04, 2019
My mexican gardener, he does a great job
by Anastacia Beverhausen October 06, 2005
A white American who was born in the Jewish middle east about two thousand years ago when dinosaurs were still walking around the earth because God made the earth in seven days. He was devoutly Republican, and a great friend of Ronald Reagon and George Bush Senior. He enjoyed golfing, the Stock Market, and the occasional damning of a democrat.
He resembled Chuck Norris in such a way that many asked for "his autograph," to be terribly disappointed when he signed it, "Christ."
He resembled Chuck Norris in such a way that many asked for "his autograph," to be terribly disappointed when he signed it, "Christ."
by JBEandfriends January 23, 2008
a kid in my english class.
by m.m.b.b April 12, 2005