Jerkson

The human male wang.

I just don't understand why women are supposedly so critical of jerkson size. All sizes do the same job, so why can't they be satisfied with what they get?? The guy puts it in, thrusts it around a bit for a time, the jerkson eventually sneezes and the woman eventually gets satisfied and VIOLA! Seriously. And, no, I don't know what the women have to say about it from their perspective since I don't talk with any. Should I care??

by antpharm March 6, 2009

jerkoff monkey

Someone who is constantly used by others. Basically a tool of the lowest form.

"Come here you jerkoff monkey, shine these shoes for me!"

by A great person with a big load April 7, 2008

jerkomatic

adj.- an automatic boner for you to jerk off after seeing a real hot chick in any format (magazine, video, real, etc.)

1: dude! did you see that chick's ass?
2: perfect! i guess that's why jonas went to the bath..
1: total jerkomatic...i'm goin' too
2: wanker...

by Puhercules July 30, 2009

jerkbrain

The part of your brain that sabotages your self-esteem.

She asked me the question because she really wants to know and is being nice, they she doesn't know about the sneaky awful jerkbrain that’s been waiting for a question like this so it can go to town. (Thanks to Captain Awkward.)

by clairedammit December 26, 2011

Jerkhole

A hole in the ground, in which one collects jerks.

Matt Pat- “Oh woah, MattyPatty has become a good person in this one; he’s not an abusive jerkhole

by SirGiraffe February 1, 2018

Jerkdown

Jerkdown is a competition whereas two or more guys stand at jerkoffs length from each other. Straight guys are preferred for this competition. They then begin to jerkoff, staring each other in the eyes. Eye contact should not be broken, unless it is to stare at the other man's junk. The first to jerkoff wins, splooging on the other man. The most popular forms of the jerkdown are the two-man jerkdown and the three-man jerkdown.

Jerkdowns involving multiple guys function almost the same as the two-man jerkdown. The first person to jerk off gets choice of target for the splooging, and then steps out of the jerkdown. This continues until there are just two left. Then, the traditional two-man jerkdown rules apply.

John and Jim decided to have a Jerkdown after some trips on extacy. Jim won and splooged all over John's thighs. Jim complimented John's intense eye contact, but admitted it helped him jerkoff faster.

by Jon Jerkdown August 14, 2009

Consult Professor Hans Jerkov

To wank

When I'm got getting any, I consult Professor Hans Jerkov

by Dollarbill85 September 1, 2010