Spicy Jerk

The sadness induced masturbation caused by Law Enforcement's refusal to come to your aide after you report that your Lasagna is haunted by ghosts

The police told me: STOP CALLING! But I told them... I told th-Snort, my lasagnia eaten bai ghost! crying, I get sad, and do a Spicy Jerk! - Vargskelethor: Super Ghostbusters (Full Album), Track 5: Ghastbisten

by Egg-Z December 15, 2018

jerk sesh

slang for jerk-off session: the event; past, present, or future; where a male has allotted himself several minutes to several hours for nothing other than private, uninterrupted masturbation. A jerk sesh is typically accompanied by one or several forms of visually stimulating material i.e. internet pornography, magazines, movies, etc.

"Goodnight fellas. I'm gonna get in a quick jerk sesh then its off to bed..."

by Ladies got the ERJ December 26, 2011

Hate Jerk

Feeling a sense of extreme hatred and resentment for someone but still helplessly jerking off to them on a consistent basis.

Thanks to Jessica, Brandon was going broke but he still couldn't help himself from hate jerking to her photos every night. He hated her so much, but GOD she turned him on.

by DivineGoddessJessica May 9, 2019

Pseudo-Intellectual Circle Jerk

A gathering of people pretending that they are intelligent and congratulating each other for it.

Oh man. I remember years ago when TED conferences were filled with genuinely inspiring, fascinating and ground-breaking presentations. That recent TEDx conference was just a pseudo-intellectual circle jerk.

by PseudoIntellect July 2, 2012

Purp Jerk

The Act of squeezing your testicles so hard they turn purple and then yankin your shaft until ejaculation.

Person 1: hey did you know Alex B purp jerks

Person 2: yeah hes such a purp jerker
Alex B: guys please stop I dont do that

by WillPretzel October 16, 2023

Jerk Off Bud

A "Jerk off bud" or "jerk off buddy" is a male associate (can be a friend or just a connection) whose primary connection is to get together and mutually masturbate with. This is not a relationship, gay or lover, just two (or more) normal guys who have regular meetings to jerk-off together and then go about their day, usually not to be spoken of outside the "group jerk" or "circle jerk". Optional "helping hands", watching porn, encouraging the others to edge longer, go twice, or shoot cum further can be involved, but not essential. Generally the person hosting the event provides the porn, lube, towels and tissues if needed.

"I met a new guy at the gym, turns out he's my new jerk off bud in the steam room".
"Hey Billy, I got some new porn, want to be my new jerk off buddy and watch it with me? We can hang out at my place".
"I always have a few jerk-off buds who are willing to rub one out with me in a circle-jerk anytime and the wife is cool with it".

by JO Bud August 1, 2021

Spicy Jerk

A Northern Swedish tradition, Which involves rubbing Spicy Swedish Herbs onto your genitalia, causing great burning pain, You than proceed to put Lemon Juice into the head with a Catheter, burning the inside of the penis.

Joel was disappointed with how The Law handled his Lasagna being haunted by ghosts, so he decided to partake in a Spicy Jerk.

Man 1: "Christ, I got so sad after losing that basketball game, I decided to do a spicy jerk."
Man 2: "TMI man, Keep that shit to yourself."

by Kreeper473 January 2, 2019