i'm literally going to die please call 911 please man i'm fucking

this isn't a joke my captor forgot to block urban dictionary this is my only escape I am being held in the basement of 308 negra arroyo lane albuquerque new mexico 87104

Joe: "Hey Jerry, how are you doing today?"
Jerry: "I'm literally going to die please call 911 please man i'm fucking"
Joe: "Great to hear!"

by Yeet-Fa-Feet September 16, 2022

I’m Having a stroke please call someone

When you’re in the process of having a stroke and you nde to lte oothrse nkowwwwwwwwwwwwwww

David-“Why golly gee wilikers, it’s snowing outside!”

Geoff-“David please help I’m having a stroke please call someone

by StarchDisks December 6, 2022

Nigga I'm callin police

Phrase that protects you from black thugs

Nigga: Hey mufuka give me that shit or I cut yo throat

Man: Nigga I'm callin police

by Chief Nigiris October 8, 2011

I'm calling the cops

What scum faced rat loosers mumble under their breath or to themselves when they don't get what they want.

A major major major tool in the bag of tricks that a character named "Double Standard" uses on perfectly innocent people.

(to ones self, not out loud)
Tony just bummed a ciggarette from me, "I'm calling the cops."

by Anthony Wheeler October 12, 2007

I'm calling Sniper Rifle

Equivalent to calling BS, but when you're playing Flappy Bird and you deem your loss unfair because it didn't seem like the bird went anywhere near the pipe, rather into the pipe's invisible hit box. So it's as if someone unfairly shot your bird down with a sniper rifle.

Almost gonna beat my high score! :D 71, 72, 73,.........FUUUUCK!!! NO WAY DUDE, I WAS NOWHERE NEAR THAT SHIT. I'M CALLING SNIPER RIFLE, FUCK THIS GAME! *tosses phone across the room*

by Your Actual Mother February 7, 2014

I'm calling the police

A term used when someone does something extremely bad, weird, fucked up, degenerative, sexual, horny, frowned upon, or just something that makes your stomach feel like shit, or makes your heart actually fucking stop for a second because you need to catch a breath after seeing what bullshit someone posts or say. This term can also be used on sexual messages, if someone is being weird, people typically reply with "I'm calling the police" "What the fuck", and "FBI OPEN UP!". The phrase / slang "I'm calling the police" is an effective way to tell someone to shut the fuck up, and for them to reconsider their life before saying something again or to tell someone your really fucked up and need psychotic help now. The term is similar to replying the suicide hotline number "1-800-273-TALK (8255)" , to tell someone to call it, and seek mental help (since they probably do tbh).

Guy 1: What were you doing? It's been like 6 hours!.

Guy 2: Jacking off to changed rule 34.

Guy 1: I'm calling the police and the fucking FBI to throw yo horny ass in the slammer.
Guy 1: Bouta fuckin teach this degenerate nigga ass mothafucka some goddamn justice.

by Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin September 20, 2023

I'm calling your parents

If this comes out of the mouth of someone, you're fucked (and you're even more fucked if the person who said it is a teacher).

Teacher: I'm calling your parents, Joe!
(Joe was afraid since his teacher called his parents because he was just chewing on gum)

by Zarkos October 16, 2023