Ryan Guarantee

Term used to describe something that is almost guaranteed to happen.

A Ryan guarantee is worth 90% of an actual guarantee

I give you a Ryan guarantee that I wont drink too much tonight

by AaronFromTheBlock January 18, 2020

Barney-guarding job

A job that requires absolutely no skill or talent, except for a complete lack of self-respect. Usually the kind of job one seeks after being fired from distributing flyers for a porno theater.

The term is derived from an episode from The Simpsons where Mr. Smithers, desperate for a job after being fired by Mr. Burns, inquires after a Help Wanted sign at Moe's. The job is pretty simple: distract Barney Gumbel until the midnight beer delivery is safely transacted. According to Homer, it's a job that many of them have only contemplated in the darkest moments of their lives.

Bill: Yo, how'd the job hunt go?

Evan: Terrible. I had to take an internship to a fishmonger.

Bill: Man, that's a Barney-guarding job.

Evan: I know. I think I'm going to bed. Don't bother me.

by ChrisJLee March 9, 2007

Goose-guarding

A New Zealand word used commonly in children's games roughly equivalent to camping in video games.

Kid 1: I'm not moving until you leave the safe zone.
Kid 2: No goose-guarding!
Kid 1: Okay, fine! I'll just run around the whole court until you leave then instead.

by Deepecologist October 26, 2018

puppy guarding

When a person guards a "safe" or "base" spot during a game of tag, forcing the person at the base to get tagged when they come out.

"Hey, thats not fair, no puppy guarding!"

by Daniela K October 29, 2006

the nard dog guarantee

a guarantee put out by Andrew Bernard (from the Office)... something that stands firm

Andy Bernard: Of course you can count on me, I'm giving it the nard dog guarantee

by tommyboy6688 February 21, 2010

guaranfuckintee

To assure or promise strenuously.

If that bitch opens her canker sore mouth one more time, I guaranfuckintee that it will be the last word she ever says.

by Bustamante January 4, 2008

Guarding the beer

Making out/ hooking up, primarily in a party setting. Typically in front of the beer/keg/etc. and effectively "guarding" any other party goers from reaching it.

They were guarding the beer for hours. Though I must admit they did a good job, nobody bothered taking any of the beer that was behind them.

by Gohawks91 January 24, 2011