A monopolistic institution filled with a bunch of greedy motherfuckers whose main goal is to work closely with colleges and universities and gang bang you and your family for every fucking penny you got.
You may know College Board as:
1. The group of evil motherfuckers that make you take a $75 dollar one-size-fits-all test that you can't even properly prepare for no matter how much studying or tutoring you get (SAT)
2. The wicked proprietors of the AP Exam who make you pay $95 to take the damn thing and drill the material THEY want you to know into your head and hope you can retain it until May, only to find out you got a fucking 2 or 3 on the exam after all that 'studying' and' learning'.
3. An institution that decoy themselves as the CSS Profile who want you and your parents to put out your entire fucking financial and tax history from the beginning of time just so they can look it over with your top schools to see if your worthy of admittance, or, and if your lucky enough, a fucking scholarship. They claim they are trying to 'help you' but they are just signing you up for even more fuckery.
4. The devil incarnate
You may know College Board as:
1. The group of evil motherfuckers that make you take a $75 dollar one-size-fits-all test that you can't even properly prepare for no matter how much studying or tutoring you get (SAT)
2. The wicked proprietors of the AP Exam who make you pay $95 to take the damn thing and drill the material THEY want you to know into your head and hope you can retain it until May, only to find out you got a fucking 2 or 3 on the exam after all that 'studying' and' learning'.
3. An institution that decoy themselves as the CSS Profile who want you and your parents to put out your entire fucking financial and tax history from the beginning of time just so they can look it over with your top schools to see if your worthy of admittance, or, and if your lucky enough, a fucking scholarship. They claim they are trying to 'help you' but they are just signing you up for even more fuckery.
4. The devil incarnate
Person 1:"Why should I pay these College Board motherfuckers for a test that schools will just throw into the scrap heap as well as my AP exam and {potentially} give me a scholarship that will barely pay for a portion of my tuition?"
Person 2: "That's just apart of the College Board process man."
Person 1: "Fuck this shit."
Person 2: "That's just apart of the College Board process man."
Person 1: "Fuck this shit."
by Retardeling December 23, 2018
Get the College Board mug.(noun) An evil government conspiracy created by corporate America to test all students "equally" through standards, when really they are creating a social hierarchy between rich kids who can afford tutors and poor kids who cannot. Though deemed a non-profit organization, they use much of the money from their "tests" to eat $1000 plates New York City. They hire evil masterminds to create tests devoted to ruining high schoolers lives by asking them questions on AP tests not pertaining to anything they have learned that year, or for that matter what pertains to doing well in college. They do not grade their supposed tests, and instead give rich kids the better scores allowing rich america to keep going to Ivy League schools, and the poor kids to community colleges. The rest of us receive scores by which The college board hires a room full of monkeys to throw darts at a dart board, and whatever numbers they hit are the scores you receive in the mail.
"Dude I didn't get accepted into any good colleges!"
"WTF? but you have a 4.0!"
"Yeah but The college Board said i got a 1600 on my SATs, apparently I'm not good enough to go to college"
"WTF? but you have a 4.0!"
"Yeah but The college Board said i got a 1600 on my SATs, apparently I'm not good enough to go to college"
by samuraichikx June 6, 2009
Get the The College Board mug.A small liberal arts college in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York, 90 miles north of New York City, aka the middle of nowhere. Bard is known as one of the most liberal schools in America, and it's easy to see why, as most of the kids who go there are artists stoners, hippies, hipsters, atheists, or vegans.
It's a good school, and mostly everyone is very nice, but it's very obscure, and you probably haven't heard of it.
It's a good school, and mostly everyone is very nice, but it's very obscure, and you probably haven't heard of it.
Artsy dude: I got accepted to Bard College!
Someone else: Where is that?
Artsy dude: It's too obscure, I can't tell you!
Someone else: Where is that?
Artsy dude: It's too obscure, I can't tell you!
by afeyfey August 26, 2012
Get the Bard College mug.The college was originally founded under the name St. Stephen's, in association with the Episcopal church of New York City, and changed its name to Bard in 1934 in honor of its founder, John Bard. While the college remains affiliated with the church, it pursues a far more secular mission today. Between 1928 and 1944, Bard/St. Stephen's operated as an undergraduate school of Columbia University. Bard/St. Stephen's ties with Columbia were severed when Bard became a fully coeducational college.
By the 1930s, Bard had become atypical among US colleges in that it had begun to place a heavy academic emphasis on the performing and fine arts. During that time, a substantive examination period was introduced for students in their second year, as well as what the dean at the time called the "final demonstration." These two periods would come to be known as Moderation and Senior Project, respectively.
For the class of 2012, 25% of applicants were accepted, while the median SAT and ACT scores for matriculating students were 1330 (math plus verbal) and 30, respectively. Fifty-four percent of matriculating students ranked in the top 10% of their high school class out of 44% of students who reported their ranking.The Princeton Review rated Bard a 96 out of 99 in its selectivity rating, and US News & World Report categorized Bard as "most selective."The class of 2011 represent 38 states and 46 different countries.
However, Bard has a high hipster population.
By the 1930s, Bard had become atypical among US colleges in that it had begun to place a heavy academic emphasis on the performing and fine arts. During that time, a substantive examination period was introduced for students in their second year, as well as what the dean at the time called the "final demonstration." These two periods would come to be known as Moderation and Senior Project, respectively.
For the class of 2012, 25% of applicants were accepted, while the median SAT and ACT scores for matriculating students were 1330 (math plus verbal) and 30, respectively. Fifty-four percent of matriculating students ranked in the top 10% of their high school class out of 44% of students who reported their ranking.The Princeton Review rated Bard a 96 out of 99 in its selectivity rating, and US News & World Report categorized Bard as "most selective."The class of 2011 represent 38 states and 46 different countries.
However, Bard has a high hipster population.
by tirnadaeloenoët April 16, 2010
Get the Bard College mug.A school for artsy fucks who like to maintain the notion that they go to a highly regarded liberal arts institution. Textbooks at Bard are used primarily as surfaces to rail lines of coke from. The college itself is in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. This is disregarded by many, as it is on the east coast, and thus "hip". 98% of Bard graduates go on to live in Brooklyn and "work in the arts".
A: Hey, man, I'm thinking about applying to Bard College.
B: I couldn't willingly approve of your decision and still call myself your friend. I met two Bard fucks named Jakee and Izaak who seemed like total dick-bags, and good representations of the school itself. Picture, if you will, the epitome of hipster: Tight pants, loves Beach House, is "in a band", and loves to "make art" (not any art of high high esteem, mind you. (think print-making)).
B: I couldn't willingly approve of your decision and still call myself your friend. I met two Bard fucks named Jakee and Izaak who seemed like total dick-bags, and good representations of the school itself. Picture, if you will, the epitome of hipster: Tight pants, loves Beach House, is "in a band", and loves to "make art" (not any art of high high esteem, mind you. (think print-making)).
by kok'n'ballz December 11, 2009
Get the Bard College mug.A school where people who have arrogantly deemed themselves smarter than the rest of their inferior peers meet to discuss their vast array of knowledge in the fields of politics, mathematics, science, etc., all to try and convince themselves (and each other) that the true reason they are at this school is because they were rejected socially from their old school. The school has an 80% acceptance rate, so don't be fooled by the applicants favorite motto: "It's an early college for geniuses." Expect the worst types of people to be enrolled in the school, and even worse people to leave.
Social Reject: Oh how I long to be among the intellectuals of a caliber not found at my current school. I know, I'll go to Bard College at Simon's Rock! It's a college, so it must be a school for geniuses like myself!
by damnthemall July 5, 2010
Get the Bard College at Simon's Rock mug.by GriftThatThrift June 10, 2025
Get the Al-Quds Bard College mug.