condonlences

The art of double-speak where an organization or individual expresses sorrow at the misfortune of a person or group which they have actively opposed, while simultaneously implying their own moral or political judgment on the party/ies

Radical anti-abortion groups issued condonlences over the murder of Dr. George Tiller.

by jerryjack June 2, 2009

Condolencize

The act of expressing one’s sympathy towards another person

TJ: “Come on, man. Please just come to the funeral.”

Aaron: “No, dude. I’m not gonna condolencize your clearly neglected fish. Sure, it sucks for the fish, but you should’ve taken better care of it.”

by TheHumbleDesigner March 12, 2022

Consolences

Consolences: like condolences but from someone close to you who is trying to console you. Someone who knows you too well to offer condolences when a sad thing happens.

A consolence can also be a non-verbal action. If someone gives a friend a hug as a form of consoling then they offer her consolence, which might elicit the reply "Thanks for the consolences".

E.g. My father offered me consolences when I dropped my slice of pizza in the dirt.

by Chateau Zo January 27, 2014

condolence boner

The condolence boner is a very common phenomenon among the male gender, which occurs when another party has received unfortual news and there is no way to comfort him/her, but with an erection.

Sandra: Oh my god, I just got fired!
Will: I'm so sorry
Sandra: Wow, what is that?
Will: Condolence boner honey, hop on.

by Blue- White Colonel March 22, 2016

Condolence-A's

n. The better grades a person receives in school after having a death in the family.

I got straight condolence-A's from all my professors when my father died the day before finals.

by Ryan Betye March 26, 2010

condollence

An expression of sympathy to a young girl over a no-longer-usable human-replica toy.

During the course of my weekly vacuuming, I accidentally destroyed my 8-year-old daughter's Malibu Barbie, but since it was a very common style that was therefore readily available at the local Walmart, I was able to simply replace the broken unit with an identical new one, and so my "little mama" never knew the difference when she got home from school; no condollences were required.

by QuacksO December 17, 2021