bullshitspeak

a language spoken by businessmen and CEOs. Used to confuse the people they're about to steal mad cash from by replacing common concepts with words that sound nice.

Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom

Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares

Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun

Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win

Salesman: "The price point of this house is so high, if you purchase now we can heavily recommend the likely executive redecision committee to select the nearby land for habitat enrichment rather than strategic redevelopment -- that is, if you agree to a slightly more significant lease agreement."

Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"

by Col. Hans Landa December 30, 2011

Bullshittery

An art form, usually used when trying to pass a test you didn't study for.

Josh: Hey man what did you write about for the history essay?

Javier: I don't know, man. I just used my skills in bullshittery and prayed it made sense.

by Trumpeteer10 April 19, 2020

Bullshitter

Noun, one who frequently gives misleading information, provides excuses when necessary, gives bogus facts to support alibi for bailing or standing up plans, doesn't answer phone calls as way to deter oncoming plans.

Zach was such a bullshitter that he almost believed himself when he told people he forgot to check his phone.

by tommy bullshittin January 4, 2015

bullshitter

An inveterate liar. A person whose life is so empty they have to invent grandiose yarns and daring exploits to make people think they are anything other than sad pathetic losers.The king of bullshitters is a guy called Eddie and one of his outlandish anecdotes is transcribed below.

"So I got a bite and I reeled it in and it was a 500cc motorbike. Kick started first time. Went down to Birmingham for the weekend on it. Pulled two girls and did them both in the hotel room while snoting coke off their tits. Just as I joined the M6 on my way home the front wheel fell off. Couldn't fix it so had to do a wheelie for the full 120 miles."

"Jesus! You bullshitter!"

by Dave Mars January 21, 2007

Bullshitter

1. One who lies out of his/her ass.
2. One who commits the act of bullshitting.

Bullshit=absolute nonesense, to lie out of the asshole.

Me: John is such a bullshitter
Eric: Why do you say that?
Me: because he promised that he'd give me his PS3 ifI could end DMC4 in a week.
Eric: well, you should have known that he was bullshitting from the door.
Me: that asshole.

by Marsellus Wallace's Wife March 13, 2009

Bullshithead

A bullshiter who is a shithead.

-You're a bullshiter.
-What a shithead!
-You're a bullshithead, though.

by Rodkor February 9, 2015

professional bullshitter

noun
a person who tells lies for a living.

"This politician is a professional bullshitter."

by phubix May 18, 2016