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Blender Magazine

A music magazine whose writing staff, not content that review journalism was already a stupefyingly conceited craft, decided to create the laziest, most inconsequential rag known to literature, tits and all. Each issue is compiled by randomly picking entries from an encyclopedia of popular music and choosing (usually by means of coin-flipping) which ones to piss all over and which ones to heap barely qualified praise upon in their otherwise arbitrary best/worst lists. The content is then peppered with pictures of the Pussy Cat Dolls, Tila Tequila, or similar airbrushed wank-fodder and hey presto, let's rock 'n' roll!!!
The title is derived from the magazine's layout having the appearance of the end result of throwing Rolling Stone, Playboy and Mad! Magazine into a food processor.
Band Frontman: Hey guys, we just got panned/lauded in Blender Magazine.

(Nothing happens)
by selfimportantdickwad March 13, 2009
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Blender Magazine

Blender Magazine

(1) a magazine in a blender

(2) The Leaders of Decling and Idiocy Literature.

(3) The worst magazine you can read. If you follow, believe, agree, and read Blender, do not hope that you will become successful.

(4) Stupid literature

Blender Magazine is one of the worst magazines. They show their stupidty by placing top 100 best and worst. Sometimes from the best and worst bands to who pees the best/worst.

Blender has attacked some greats, good, and ok bands as being worst the bands or worst lyricist. They named the legendary group The Doors as one of the worst bands and Jim Morrison as one of the worst writers. They used an example of "Ramble On" by the Led Zeppelin as horrible writing. However, Blender Magazine has named the horrible "Black Parade" album as the best and puts stupid people like Avril Lavigne on the magazine covers. How can you say those bands are the worst if they are clearly idiots and avoided saying bands Fall Out Boy, Good Charlotte, All American Rejects, 30 Seconds to Mars were one of the worst. That is an example of how bad and avoidable this magazine should.

The people at Blender Magazine deserve a 1000 deaths and tortures. These deaths
ICP: They call us the worst so that's why most of the guys at Blender have a hachet through their head.

Guy: Blender Magazine sucks!
Jim: what are you doing?
Bob: Blender Magazine (1)

Rocker with a great rock band: They may name me the worst artist, but I pee on their magazine.

Blender Magazine(2): That's it my children keep reading it! ha ha ha ha

Hobo With a Shotgun: you better have sucked your last cock!

Blender Magazine(2): ohh, I hate you

Hobo with A Shotgun: *shoots they guy from Blender in the face and groin*

Guy: what are you reading?

Kid: Blender Magazine (3)

Guy: If I were you, I throw it in the trash or blended.

Kid: *Kid looks at the cover* ya, you're right, this magazine is horrible.

Smart Girl: What the hell am I reading?

Friend: oh a Blender Magazine (4)

Smart Girl: oh yeah! thanks!
by Sleez Boy March 14, 2008
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Dick in a Blender

A truly painful experience that still may be preferred over the proposed task, activity, action, etc.
Guy 1: Hey man, wanna go hang out at Bill's?
Guy 2: I'd rather shove my dick in a blender
Guy 1: I knew you didn't like Bill but that's extreme.
Guy 2: I beg to differ *plugs in blender*
by I Don't Need a Pseudonym September 10, 2014
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Boisterous bellend

This type of person is an absolute twat who never fails to annoy you. They are loud and not well educated and often blurt out inappropriate comments resembling an arsehole, or in this case, a total bellend.
That new lad at work is a boisterous bellend and really pisses me off
by Ur nans mum April 11, 2020
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bellendery

act of indulging in behaviour typical of an extreme tosser, otherwise known as a bellend.
His demeanour was characterised by weapons grade bellendery.
by GfL March 5, 2013
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Hungarian Hand Blender

When you combine feces, urine and semen inside your partner's anus and then use your hand to mix the contents. The feces can already be in there or you can defecate into your partner's anus yourself.
My girlfriend wanted me to give her a Hungarian hand blender. I'm not one to kink shame but that's taking it too far.
by Indy the Great January 12, 2019
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Bellend

Mildly offensive insult used between mates when one or more of them has done something daft. Seemingly its not possible to over use this phrase.
Roger: I dropped my razor on my toe and cut it open.
Gary: Bellend!

Andy: I misread the map and ended up running the long way round.
Gary: Bellend!

Anyone: Anything
Gary: Bellend!
by Fatkid_13 October 11, 2021
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