my dogs are barking

My feet are hurting/tired.

I just worked a 12 hour shift, my dogs are barking.

by APB15 March 31, 2009

Multi-Level Marketing

Commonly abbreviated MLM, it's a form of selling a product whereby one person recruits other salespeople, who recruits other salespeople, ad nausea and after each sale, everybody above the salesman gets a small piece of commission. To make money in one (98%+ of people don't), one should place much more emphasis on recruiting than sales. Amway is probably the most well-known MLM.

Many MLMs have "optional" national meetings, motivational books and tapes, and other various expenses. The cost of these comes out of pocket of the individual. As a general rule, if you can be one of the first people to join a successful MLM, you'll make a lot of money, especially if you can sell all of this crap to your downline. However, if you're not in this lucky 1-2%, you'll honestly be lucky to break even in your expenses.

There is some technical difference between a pyramid scheme, which is illegal, and an MLM, which is legal. However, nobody but the high-priced lawyers which keep MLMs in business and stealing the money of its starry-eyed employees seem to know what this difference is.

There are too many Multi-Level Marketing organizations to count. After one is shut down by bankruptcy or the government, two new ones sprout from the ground.

by iLikeSoup March 28, 2011

Arkansas Barking Spider

To pass gas, Fart

joe: passes gas
pete: what the hell was that?
joe: must have been an Arkansas Barking Spider

by handymanCT December 17, 2009

Rocky Mountain Barking Spiders

A "something" on which to blame farts.
Rather than accept blame for farting(noisily), one exclaims that they had witnessed a creature in close proximity by invoking it's name and looking behind.

Interchangeable with local fauna.

FFRRRTTTTT...
"OH! Darn Rocky Mountain Barking Spiders sneaking up on me again."

by Psykram May 12, 2010

Fart barking

When the poo pressure inside your anus comes flying out so hard that it hurts your sphincter and produces a sound like a dog barking.

Quit fart barking so close to my head!

I'm gonna have to go sit on the toilet and fart bark.

I just fart Barked so hard, I need to blot.

by Doctor Ramshackle February 27, 2011

barking cat

derogatory term for a small dog such as a chihuahua or a pekingese

I was hoping my girlfriend would get a real dog like a german shepard or something that could guard the house, but she just got a damn barking cat.

by Michael_Hunt March 26, 2009

Ocean Marketing

To sink your own ship due to incompetence and arrogance. It is derived from the historical event in which Ocean Marketing chose to challenge Penny Arcade during a string of rude costumer service emails involving a gaming product. This moment of stupidity and arrogance began a chain of events that led to Ocean Marketing's downfall. It has officially replaced the word "titanic" for such events.

As Bob drunkenly bad mouthed his boss at the company holiday party, he had no idea his boss is standing behind him the entire time. Effectively Ocean Marketing his career there.

____________

Man #1 - I was flirting with this girl outside my car window while driving when I smashed into a cop car. There goes my car AND my license!

Man #2 - HA! Good use of Ocean Marketing.

by Beauski December 30, 2011