Jesus wet

A measure of wetness such that even Jesus Christ would not be able to walk across the wetness.

Example Michael's sister's panties are Jesus wet!

by §eth October 13, 2004

Jewish Jesus

The Jesus that beats all other mother fucking jesus's

*Black Jesus = ok
*Christian Jesus = LOSER
*Jewish Jesus = Amazing!
*Asian Jesus = Buddha

by Devoteorthedoxgreekcatholic April 04, 2010

come to jesus

Originally an emotional experience that is life changing, it has evolved to mean a serious argument, one that better result in a change of action or else.

My husband and I are going to have a "come to jesus" over this remodeling job.
or
I'm going to have a "come to jesus" with that kid about his drinking and partying.

by Sak July 29, 2004

The Blonde Jesus

The name says it all.

-He turns water into purple or red drank.

-His beard is better than any you've ever seen
and that includes the beard of Chuck Norris.

-He has an amazing Ban Hammer of Thor.

-He is merciless.

The Blonde Jesus is the sex. Period.

by Anonymous0fLegion September 16, 2010

BLACK JESUS

An exclamation used when blankets are pulled over the head and nothing is visible.

* pulls sheets over head, screams in a muffled voice*

"BLACK JESUS...!"

by BarelyAHuman May 22, 2015

jesus tit

Expression similar to "what the fuck!" often used in poker tournaments and the whatnot

"Jesus tit, will you please pay attention and not be such a dickneck."

by Cunty Spice July 29, 2006

Jesus and Trump

The Commander in Chief and the Commander in Cheat; the Anointed One by God the Father and the QAnon-ed one by alt-right voters; the Alpha and the Omega, and the rejected and the ejected; and the others-centered and the me-centered.

Comparing Jesus and Trump is like comparing heaven and hell, or forgiveness and vindictiveness.

by MathPlus April 07, 2021