Absentis Pater

A rare species of people, who are most likely to be a dream or a jellybean stan.

jellybean stan: its not a mistake ITS A MASTERPIECE

narrator: and that right there is a Absentis Pater

by iBrae Pro June 16, 2022

absolutelyn't

n't - not, absolutelyn't - absolutely not

"Can you come do these dishes and walk the dog?"
"Absolutelyn't"

by Ball Seeker > June 21, 2022

Absopositivelylutely

Most absolutely positive!

Charlie, I absopositivelylutely agree with your opinion on this matter!

by YungSkittles_007 June 22, 2022

absolute distress

Stomach issues. Usually diarrhea and/or vomiting

Person 1: hey you coming out tonight?
Person 2: no, I'm in absolute distress
Person 1: ah, that sucks. Feel better fam.

by YoyoMaFam July 26, 2022

Absolute Krusty

The act wherein the male ejaculates onto his partners hair while they sleep, resulting in a spiky and crispy hairdo that resembles the one worn by The Simpsons character Krusty The Clown.

"Doris looks rough today Keith, did you slip her an Absolute Krusty last night?.."

by Robbie Carton Comedian July 28, 2022

Abstract

The act of getting distracted by abs on someone.

"Wow! Look at her!"
"Don't get abstracted."

by KimMinsun August 8, 2022

ABSOLUTE PSYCHO

Okay, if I... if I chop you up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out, that's left of you, is your eyeball, you'r- you're PROBABLY DEAD! You're probably going to - not *you,* I'm just sayin', like, if you- if somebody were to, like, push you into a meat grinder, and, like, your- one of your *finger bones* is still intact, they're not gonna pick it up and go, "Well see, yeah it wasn't deadly, it wasn't an instant kill move! You still got, like, this part of your finger left!" NO I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. I'M NOT GONNA PUT YOU INTO A MEAT GRINDER. NO. I'm making a *reference* to the fact that, like, if I, like, if I were to get fucking KILLED... I don't know, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. If- if- okay, if you were to- okay we're gonna take humans out of this, if alien Globgobglobgo 1 fuckin' shoots a disintegrating ray at alien Globglo 2, if there's only fucking *TEETH LEFT,* it's- it's fucking *you're dead, you're dead*.

"If I were to put you in a meat grinder," goddamnit, it's so fucked up! You understand what I'm sayin' though, I'm not actually saying that I'm going to put somebody in a *meat grinder,* goddamnit. Whatever.

That ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO THREATENED TO PUT ME IN A MEAT GRINDER. ABSOLUTE PSYCHO MEANS JERMA985.

by TwitchChatReal1984 August 10, 2022