A joke that is so long that your beard grows back before it is over, and never has a punchline that is worth the wait. Called a 'red joke' because is usually told by a conservative old man in Kentucky who sits in his rocking chair for 8 hours a day with chew, a spittoon and a shotgun at his side. Some times called a 'long joke'.
"Hey, you want to hear a Red Joke?'
"NO."
"Okay!"
"Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?"
The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in."
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, "Were you the one being robbed?"
The man casually replies, "No, I committed the robbery."
The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. "So you're telling me you were speeding...AND committed a robbery?"
"Yes," the man calmly says. "I have the loot in the back."
The cop begins to get angry. "Sir, I'm afraid you have to come with me." The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.
"Don't do that!" the man yells fearfully. "I'm scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!" The cop pulls his hand out. "Wait here," he says.
The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, "Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car."
The man replies, "Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!" "
"... Wow that was not worth the wait..."
"NO."
"Okay!"
"Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?"
The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in."
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, "Were you the one being robbed?"
The man casually replies, "No, I committed the robbery."
The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. "So you're telling me you were speeding...AND committed a robbery?"
"Yes," the man calmly says. "I have the loot in the back."
The cop begins to get angry. "Sir, I'm afraid you have to come with me." The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.
"Don't do that!" the man yells fearfully. "I'm scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!" The cop pulls his hand out. "Wait here," he says.
The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, "Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car."
The man replies, "Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!" "
"... Wow that was not worth the wait..."
by Bass_Windu5252 March 29, 2015
by cdsl March 03, 2010
This is the result of too many wipings of your ass in one day. What happens is your asshole get irritated and eventually bloody. The result is your asshole is burning all the time, and each time you wipe, its a mix of blood and shit.
Bidets help with that.
Bidets help with that.
Shaniqua- "OMFG, I just got a red wipe!"
La Shonda- "Girllllllllll you need to wet that cloth before you wipe!" Make sure you wipe from clean to dirty!
Shaniqua- Whaaat?
La Shonda- From Poontang to asshole silly!
Johnny "Ohshit, I had a red wipe! There there was poo and blood on the TP!".
Boyfriend- You know whats the best thing for that? Saliva. Wink Wink. =) I specialize with this.
La Shonda- "Girllllllllll you need to wet that cloth before you wipe!" Make sure you wipe from clean to dirty!
Shaniqua- Whaaat?
La Shonda- From Poontang to asshole silly!
Johnny "Ohshit, I had a red wipe! There there was poo and blood on the TP!".
Boyfriend- You know whats the best thing for that? Saliva. Wink Wink. =) I specialize with this.
by RobYo October 22, 2009
While a female is on her period, she inserts pills into the vagina until she cannot hold them in any longer. She will then push out all the pills onto her friends, family, or partners.
by † Noobles † June 19, 2014
Politicians who make money off revolution and dress like commies but who are really just plotting how to squeeze the most pennies out of a (usually) developing country. Communism is a great business opportunity!
by Zaba July 06, 2014
by Dorcas February 24, 2009
by Clean $mart June 10, 2006