Satan's Margarita

A girl's period, referred to by staunch religious folk who think sex is the devil.

No, don't hit that, Billy. I heard her Satan's Margarita is churning up something fierce this weekend.

by soyboy March 9, 2009

Satan

According to Christianity, Satan was originally an angel who rebelled against God (power to the people!) and also influenced Adam and Eve to eat the fruit of knowledge- which implies that had they of not eaten it, then we might not have possessed the knowledge to question authority. Ultimately, Satan was thrown into the lake of fire with his other followers- which also implies that Satan is a victim too in all of this, and considering he braved god's wrath to question the lord's divine authority- it says a lot about how Satan should be perceived, and that Satan might have had decent intentions after all. Of course, this is all subject to whether you have religious ideals- in which case, you might want to consider which being you're supporting :P

Satan's ultimate goal is to lead people away from the love of God, and to lead them into fallacies which God opposes- or if you look at it another way, fallacies which mean God no longer has control over you- some of these fallacies are listed below:

Premarital sex: A normal desire for human beings, and it should not be perceived as a sinful. Everyone has the right to love their body and the body of others, providing they realise what sex entails and that they are aware of any implications that follow the activities they are parcitipating in.

Drugs: As we know, some drugs are very dangerous for the body and mind- but naturally occuring drugs such as weed and hallucinogens can lead to experiencing alternative perceptions of reality, and providing necessary precautions are taken, this can lead to positive realisations about yourself and the world you live in. And may also result in a more independent mindset- which would be bad for God, understandably...

Rock Music: Opposed by hardcore Christians, Rock music is actually celebratory of everything that makes us human- and is known for championing complex ideas (seen in art rock, etcetera) and anti- authority ideals. Again, bad for God...

In all, there are lots of things perceived as sinful by Christianity- most of these are merely aspects which contribute to our independence and rights as a human being.

by Firelovesugar October 28, 2010

Satanism

Satanism is not one single religion. Satanism is a broad category of religions, worldviews, and literature all featuring a favorable interpretation of Satan. Christians (and Muslims) regard their God as all-good and Satan as evil. But what is good? What is evil? Many of the moral values espoused in the Bible seem very strange from a modern Western point of view. In the Garden of Eden story, Adam and Eve are punished for eating from the "tree of knowledge of good and evil." In other words, blind obedience to the Biblical God is considered "good," whereas independent moral judgment, based on one's own knowledge, is considered "evil." But, like many other educated people in the West today, Satanists do not agree with this idea at all. In the Book of Genesis, "God" seems to be outright threatened by human knowledge and achievement, both in the Garden of Eden story ("And the LORD God said, 'The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.'" - Genesis 3:22) and then later in the Tower of Babel story ("But the LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. The LORD said, 'If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.'" - Genesis 11:5-7).

According to traditional Christian doctrine, the main “evil” thing Satan is believed to do is simply to lead people away from Christ. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing depends on how you feel about Christianity. From a more down-to-Earth point of view, the worst thing Satan is said to do in the New Testament is to drive people insane. (Insanity is blamed on alleged “demon possession.”) Indeed, if one is careless, one can drive oneself insane through exploring the unknown and seeking to “become as gods,” as Satan invites people to do. On the other hand, if one takes reasonable precautions in pursuing one's explorations and ambitions, one can reap great benefits. Thus, most Satanists do NOT see themselves as "worshiping evil." Rather, most Satanists associate Satan with such values as pride, independence, individuality, knowledge, achievement, thinking for oneself, and exploring unknown and forbidden realms. Furthermore, contrary to the portrayal of Satanism in horror movies and sensationalistic tabloids, the vast majority of Satanists do NOT see any need to sacrifice animals or commit violent crimes in the name of Satan. There are many kinds of Satanists. For most of the past forty years, the most public Satanist spokespeople have been atheistic symbolic Satanists, who do not believe in or worship Satan as a literal entity, but who regard Satan as a symbol of independence, pride, individual ambition, etc.

by ♫ Highway to Hell ♫ July 24, 2010

Satan Transmission

Though it helps to be high sometimes even sober people can come across Satan pirating the broadcast spectrum (he is the prince of air after all) and flooding poor unsuspecting mortals with dastardly sounds and images resulting in a memorable mind fuck.

Dude, one time I was totally fried out of my gourd, and after walking through a hellbroth of sonar beeping bats, my pals and I finally reached an indoor place of rest. How wrong we were. As soon as we turned on the old television, the Satan Transmission began. The screen went all green and striped, but what we could make out scared the shit out of us. It was some mockery of a religious program, but it had the triple 6 down at the bottom of the screen, and the preacher man had extra eyes in his forehead. Freaked me the fuck out.

by Alpha&Omega October 26, 2005

Satanism

An excerpt from the official Church of Satan website:

<b>"If you have read our books, you know that Satanism isn’t about taking drugs, and it isn’t about harming animals or children. Unlike many religions and philosophies, Satanism respects and exalts life. Children and animals are the purest expressions of that life force, and as such are held sacred and precious in the eyes of the Satanist. Besides, it is very un-Satanic to take any creature’s life against its will. It is equally un-Satanic to cloud your brain and impair your judgment with mind-altering substances."</b>

Also, someone who worships Satan as a being is practicing Luciferianism, not Satanism.

by _autopsy_whore_ May 29, 2004

Satan's Rectum

Satan's Rectum refers the asshole or rectum of an individual who's rectal cavity is so dirty, wretchedly foul, unclean and repugnant, that it emanates vile and putrid odors permeating the air like a vicious sword cutting through the nasal membranes. Surrounding individuals encounter a stench aura and obscene, olfactory cling rivaling the world’s most stinky cheeses. Smells attributed to Satan’s Rectum include combinations of Limburger Cheese served in a squalid jock strap, a Roquefort served in a fecal filled diaper, an Epoisses served in a dry sauna with a bucket of rotten eggs, or a Camembert served on the floor of a portable toilet after a Rave. Satan’s Rectum compounds one's miry ass with habitual bung hole ecructation of shit vapors and shit fumes with the viscosity of rancid butter. The amalgam is mistaken for a demonic entity extruding bile and vomit in an biblical exorcism. Individuals encountering the insidious rank report dry mouth, watery eyes, overwhelming nausea, violent retching, dry heaves and violent emesis. Such demonic, iniquitous permeations have been likened to the smell of Jeffrey Dahmer’s freezer during an extended power outage, the eviscerated decomposing corpse of an 800 pound man, and the rotting, gangrenous flesh caused by bacterial infection combined with severe bromhidrosis (body odor). Satan's Rectum is very well known for its association with Heinous Anus Fragrance.

For weeks she retched and gagged. For weeks her eyes watered. Her vomiting gave fear to concerns of impending death. The smell of rotten eggs hastend the call to her Priest for cleansing. Her love of stinky cheese ended in gagging at the thought. Her own malevolent body odor made the entity sweet as morning dew. Her search for the source compounded by inability to rid her nostrils of the demon clinging inside her. Then, by devine intervention, her roommate bent down before her amd in all his glory he revealed himself. Satan's Rectum stood before her.

by Eaton Holgoode April 17, 2014

Satantology

See scientology or the church of scientology

Satantology is really whack!

by exposing satanism August 26, 2005