Professional Victim

One who feigns helplessness to garner support, sympathy or attention, usually the "I'm so helpless" female trope,
but if you call them on it, will then attempt to turn it back on you, saying "YOU'RE the problem."

1: How's your relationship with Meg going?
2: Yeah... Called her out on not texting me back for a week... She said I shouldn't "pressure her" and "Her life was hard" and "I should understand"
1: HOLY SHIT... She went "Professional Victim"?
2: Yep... TOTALLY.

by Conscious Thinker February 26, 2023

Professionally Develop

v. To give stern advice to someone and let them know they are wrong, clueless, or acting out of line

Jenny was acting drunk at the bar, so I professionally developed her and told her to get it together.

by Fat Free Latte November 1, 2015

Professional Desperado

1. A bold or desperate Professional

2. A mistake worthy of, large interoffice e-mail chains, and new hire orientation story time, and elevation to legendary status.

3. Using large words you do not understand in order to make yourself or your point more impressive.

"Quintessential is that people don't complain, every individual and every effort has multiplicity magnitude."
Did you hear about the tech support guy that told his customer to box up his computer and send it back? Now THAT'S what I call Professional Desperado!

by Rogerowen October 9, 2007

Cupcake Professional

A person who is wildly incompetent at their job but tries to make up for it by acting/dressing cute

Shawna really just does nothing all day, why does she have a job here ?

She is a cupcake professional , you cant fire anyone that adoreable.

by Come on meow November 23, 2014

professional whistler

Someone who likes to whistle random tunes at random times to avoid the fact that they cannot sing as good.

Just like King Julian, Ashley has taken on being a professional whistler. He can practise at any time, in any place and still know his girlfriend, Monica thinks the effort is adorable!

by ash's_angel August 13, 2010

Professional Cunt

A female who has completely mastered the art of being a ruthless bitch and doesn't give a single fuck about what they say to OR about a certain person; usually towards another female who has offended them in some way. Or just doesn't deserve to breathe the air on this planet. It can also be towards the opposite sex who completely deserves every shitty thing that ever happens to them in life.

Cindy: "Oh well, i got what i wanted out of him. A booty call & my ex seen the hickey on his neck. & probably got upset in front of his new redheaded whore of a girlfriend, causing a fight & possibly a break up. Which hopefully lead to police being called & people being put in the back of cop cars for a domestic dispute. You know, because she's a redheaded crooked nosed piece of trash bitch, & she hates her life."

Becky: "LMAO you are totally a professional cunt."

by ProfeshCunt101 January 22, 2012

Professional Crastinator

A person who can waste as much time as humanly possible, as effectively as possible, while still attaining above average grades in school/working adequately.

Different from procrastination due to the effectiveness, (i.e. rather than twiddling your thumbs you prepare to be as comfortable as possible for as long as possible, and due to the result, where you still perform adequately enough to make a living and have it not affect you financially/educationally.

"How the fuck does that guy get such good marks, he just sits in his room browsing memes and masturbating for hours on end!"
"He's a Professional Crastinator, BRENDA, you uneducated capitalist fuck. Of course he can waste that much time and somehow make a living simultaneously"

by 765boo May 2, 2018