Capitalism

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

Normal guy: "Dude, your company just took a crap but you just bought that mansion! How'd you do it?"

Douchebag CEO: "Capitalism."

by DeskFlyer August 21, 2009

Washington Capital Syndrome

Sports teams that can beat the best teams but lose to the crappy ones.

The Washington Caps are the best team in the NHL but lose to 23 ranked Tampa bay lighting ie "Washington Capital Syndrome"

by jilly jackerson March 13, 2010

Bootstrap Capital

Also known as self-capitalization, this is how most start-ups actually capitalize themselves. Sources of bootstrap capital include: soft capital (Mom/Dad/Rich Uncle Buck), home equity loans, supplier credit, consulting, credit cards, retainers, deposits, progress payments, receivables factoring, partners, sponsorships, guarantors, pre-sales, launch clients and more. Bootstrap capital allows the ownership to keep control of their own enterprises and not lose them to VCs and other debt or equity holders.

“Two former students decide to start a home building business. They have no capital so they: 1. find a friendly landowner who allows them to set up shop in a field and pre-sell homes with no money up front to the landowner (who gets paid when the homes sell); 2. they pre-sell 10 homes and take deposits of $20,000 per home so now they have $200,000 in their bank account; 3. they get 90 and 120 day terms from their suppliers so that the suppliers also get paid when the homes sell; 4. they take their 10 Agreements of Purchase and Sale and pledge those to the Bank for a LOC (effectively borrowing their clients' credit scores). After two years, they have $800,000 in the Bank and own 100% of the business. This example demonstrates five sources of bootstrap capital: supplier credit, pre-sales, launch clients, deposits and guarantors.”

by ProfBruce October 31, 2009

Capital Rape

The act of exploiting the Caps Lock or Shift Key in manners it wasn't ever meant to be used for, such as randomly capitalizing letters, typing in all capitals, adding more symbols or figures than necessary, or not using it at all.

lYk OmG i lUv kYlE hE tHe BeSt EvAr KyLe aN jEnNy 4-EvA!

totally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LYK 2DA I WENT 2 DA MAL WITH KRISTIN MY BST GRL IN DA WRLD WUZ SO FUN!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~looK aT mE, aint iT cuTE wHen i tYpE wItH tHe ShApEs?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

i dont need 2 typ rt im 2 hottt 4 dat shit lol

by Koma April 15, 2005

Capitalist Terrorism

A term describing the erosion of freedom and loss of access to the necessities of life that occurs when the ultra-wealthy are running government.

The propaganda of Capitalist Terrorism is steadily seeping into governments around the world, leading the poorest citizens to believe the lies that are promulgated to seduce them into becoming true believers.

by Dr Bunnygirl December 15, 2019

Capital Simp

Someone who is subservient to the capitalist class and will defend and serve them at all costs for just the possibility of a crumb of capital.

Synonymous with "bootlicker"

"oh here's Tim comes again to the defense of Disney even though they're refusing to pay 100,000 of their workers, what a capital SIMP"

by Noramonicom April 22, 2020

Cuck for Capitalism

Someone who is a working class citizen but still votes for politicians that support right wing economic policies. these policies go directly against the working class citizens best interests.

Spencer voted no on forming a union because he is a Cuck for Capitalism and said his union dues are money that could buy a PS5.

by CommiePussySlayer42069 June 2, 2021