Captain jack sparrow

When your wife fslls asleep on your wedding night so to punish her you splooge in her eye, making her look like a pirate.

Had to sort myself out on my wedding night, here have some jizz in your eye, love you captain jack sparrow

by Daura2731 November 20, 2018

space gunner captain

mainly the most awesome thing in the world but more frequently known as tom.

yo did you go to space like my boi tom?!?!? hes a space gunner captain bro

by bomb236669 November 26, 2018

Captain Crunch

The best cereal, if anyone says otherwise they are most likely gay

Bob: mm, I love captain crunch.

by BarfingChicken December 11, 2018

Captain Miskawitz

A masterbation technique where you bend down on your knees, throw your shoulders to the floor and think about black pussy as you stare at the night sky.

Sometimes when I'm lonely Captain Miskawitz comforts me.

by Boogers McGavin July 20, 2017

captain saggy balls

An old grouchy man

Captain saggy balls over is always complaining about the prices of food.

by Captain saggy balls August 8, 2017

captain stupid

What you call little siblings brother when your mom is around.

Little sibling: Butt
Older sibling: Captain Stupid

by someone you will never know August 17, 2017

the captain phillips

Based on the true story of the pirates who control the Horn of Africa, the captain Phillips is the act of sticking Somalian weapons in your partners genitals followed by screaming "I am the captain now!!!"

Baby get ready for the captain Phillips I'm gunnna stick a lifeboat sized load of cum in you.

by Snitches.get.stiches. August 26, 2017