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heavy dick 

The stage of arousal that occurs between complete limpness and rock hard erection. In this stage, the penis is about half engorged and is too soft to stand proud and erect but to hard to be completely flaccid. The elevated blood levels give the penis a lumbering, heavy feel. Ironically, it is possible to either urinate or ejaculate in this stage (see: messy marvin). Also, because the penis still hangs low, its increased size makes this stage ideal for attempting to visually impress or slapping sexual partners.
When my girlfriend got off the pill I had to start wearin' rubbers again. As soon as I reached for one I went from rock hard to heavy dick.
heavy dick by gravity5 February 23, 2007
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half hard dick 

i ) A half erect penis.

ii) Something that is useless

iii) Something that appears to be on its way to being useful, but isn't

iv) Something that possesses all the drawbacks, and none of the advantages of a given phenomenon
Steve : Did you get a raise at work ?

Dave : Yes, but only $2,000

Steve : That's like $50 a paycheck after taxes

Dave : It's about as useful as a half hard dick.
half hard dick by The Rockit February 9, 2010

SPORTS DICK

WHEN YOUR DICK GETS REALLY SMALL DURING AND AFTER STRENOUS EXCERCISE
MAN I JUST BACK FROM THE GYM AND I GOT A BAD CASE OF SPORTS DICK
SPORTS DICK by CONEHOUSE January 7, 2010

2 Handed Dick Slam 

It is as it sounds: a Man (yes, capitalized for this instance as only a true Man can pull off this maneuver) unzips his pants and takes his dick in both hands and slams it down on the table to prove his point. This is only to be used in circumstances where without slamming the cock on the table, the story, argument, etc. would be laughed off otherwise.
At a sales presentation:

"...and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should invest in my company."

"But it makes no sense!"
(audience grumbles and discontent grows)

"Well maybe this will make my point better"
(presenter drops trou and performs the 2 Handed Dick Slam)

Audience applauds and the Man goes on to riches and fame.
2 Handed Dick Slam by Hoss42 March 15, 2010

Dick her down 

I'm gonna go dick her down real quick; I'll be back.
Dick her down by The Mattster March 19, 2006

Dick Clark 

1) Full name Richard Wagstaff Clark, Dick Clark had his first major TV appearance as the host of "American Bandstand" in 1957. Nicknamed "The World's Oldest Teenager" for his ability to always be knowledgable about America's popular music. 2004 was the 30th anniversery of his anual hosting of "New Year's Rockin' Eve"
2) A man who seems to have figured out how to live forever.
This song has been around forever! It's so Dick Clark!
Dick Clark by Assessment January 2, 2004

chunky dick snot 

A humorous slang term for "semen."
Is your chocolate starfish ready for my chunky dick snot?
chunky dick snot by Clit Eatswood December 16, 2005