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Jack's Crazy Beard

The kind of beard you get when you come back from the secret island and go a little crazy and start listening to Nirvana really loud while driving around in a van.
Damn dude, where have you been? You've got a serious Jack's Crazy Beard going on! Also, nice van.
by Malachi Constant April 12, 2019
mugGet the Jack's Crazy Beardmug.

If I'd known you were coming, I'd have shaved my beard

Da "parody on da cake-baking saying" remark dat you smilingly say to a cute chick whom you've unexpectedly met somewhere, and you are savoringly pressing her soft warm palms against yer fuzzy cheeks.
I always love joking around about, "If I'd known you were coming, I'd have shaved my beard" wif pretty girls whom I befriend; said humorous remark always gets da biggest amused giggle-fits outta dem.
by QuacksO October 22, 2023
mugGet the If I'd known you were coming, I'd have shaved my beardmug.

Taco beard

1. A beard so covered in taco juice that all the beard owner can smell is taco.

2. A beard that belongs to a man who just went down on a girl's bearded taco
After eating a super juicy taco, Brendan pulled his mask over his face and said "All I can smell is taco, I've got Taco Beard!"
by CaptainJabbin February 25, 2021
mugGet the Taco beardmug.

beard enema

A douchey beard, translates from English to Spanish on Google Translate, then back from Spanish to English
Eddie Rosario has a beard enema for the World Series
by SamandAbby October 29, 2021
mugGet the beard enemamug.

soft-bearded man

A man or manchild(usually a millennial) that has a beard but most likely gets it trimmed weekly. This man gets offended very easily, and violently opposes hate speech. He would not dare use his hands for manual labor or for properly pleasing a woman. He is a feminist, his wife makes more money than him, and he hates white privilege.
"Hey I heard Lumberjack Leslie has to ask his wife before he does anything!" "Yeah, he's a soft-bearded man."
by Scranton Strangler April 14, 2018
mugGet the soft-bearded manmug.

360 beard

When your missus decides to over shave your neck and your beard overtime conjoins with your hairline at the back of your head!!
Look at the result of my wife's great work, I now have a 360 beard!!!!
by The crafty cutie March 24, 2019
mugGet the 360 beardmug.

Beard Madness

A short-lived surge of itch, prickling, and irritability that hits about 24–48 hours after a close shave, as stiff regrowing stubble and freshly sensitized skin team up to drive you into a slight frenzy. Typically lasts 1–4 days.
“Day-two Beard Madness has me wanting to claw my face off.”
by TwistedBobbay August 29, 2025
mugGet the Beard Madnessmug.

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