jesus jumped up christ 

An expression of your frustration/annoyance towards someone (usually a friend). Not really insulting to your friend, usually they will find it kind of funny and laugh too. But they will get the message that you are a bit annoyed with them.

Jesus jumped up Christ! Why do I get stuck with all the "winners"?

jesus jumped up christ by WordFreak August 20, 2007

Jesus Christ on a Hot Dog on a Stick 

A term used when an incident is so shockingly heinous, the simple exclamation, "Jesus Christ!" doesn't do it justice.

Imagery: Jesus Christ, impaled by a Hot Dog on a Stick (tm), aka a corn dog.

The most common image is one of Jesus Christ with a corn dog inserted into his rectum, though different examples of various Orifices of Christ can be found with a simple search on the World Wide Web.

(This definition is not endorsed by the company, Hot Dog on a Stick. However, the definition was originally penned by one of the company employees.)

Kid: "Dad, I'm in jail for stealing the neighbor's car, crashing it into a Walmart, then putting my dick into the tailpipe while the engine was still running."
Dad: "Jesus Christ on a Hot Dog on a Stick!!! Rot in prison, you sick little fuck. You're disowned."

Jesus Christ on a Hot Dog on a Stick by Todd Jenkem July 28, 2011

Jesus Christ 

An exclamation on par with "holy shit!" "What the hell?!"

*something crazy happens*
John: "Jesus Christ! What just happened?!

Jesus Christ by ZahhakNJ September 23, 2016

jesus loves me

this is what children say after a good humping by Jesus

jesus loves me so much

jesus loves me by coollikesnoopy January 17, 2018

jesus titty fucker 

Exclamation. When something goes wrong... either a limp dick during sex or experiencing extreme physical pain. A curse used in the most extreme cases.

(after gettting shot in the balls) or (stubbed in the toe) or (after making a surprise discovery)
Bob: "JESUS TITTY FUCKER!!!!!! my balls"
or
Mitch: "JESUS TITTY FUCKER! move this fucking furniture Jessica!"
Or
Butch: " JESUS TITTY FUCKER!!! That whore gave me AIDS! I thought it was weird she had a dick..."

jesus titty fucker by Alex Kondraki July 4, 2006

JESUS CHRIST BANANAS 

basicly a goofy way of saying holy shit

"JESUS CHRIST BANANAS dun scare meh like dat!!!"

JESUS CHRIST BANANAS by KityKat November 6, 2007

jesus fries 

When a person shits in the toilet, and the shit pieces float (or fall) together to make a cross, which the shitter than proceeds to worship. Or, if they do not believe in Christianity or God, they curse their shit pieces and proceed to claim their own one true prophet See Mormon Fries.

And behold, there in the water, was the one true magic, the very source of my worship...

Jesus Fries?

You're goddamn right, Jesus Fries, baby!

jesus fries by Trevor Whitecliff February 12, 2008