roasting the turtle

verb; action

1. smoking cannabis out a bowl

2. to get high

Thomas: Yo mate, me and Charlie are going to be roasting the turtle, want to join in?

Ron: Hell ya dude, let get a hit of that dank.

by kingoflimbs August 3, 2012

Plucking the turkey

Shaving one's scrotum.

Conversation in the locker room after sports -

Bill: Hey Bob, nice job plucking the turkey!

Bob: Thanks Bill, it's a relief to know that the reason you are staring at my hairy beanbag with a raging hard-on is simply a platonic admiration for my skills with a straight razor!

by antron76 October 1, 2012

last place at a turd eating contest

Beyond mere failure, the absolute pinnacle of loserdom.

Amy didn't just fail, it was more like she got last place at a turd eating contest.

by Goat Milking Contest Winner. December 12, 2012

Baste the Turkey

The act of dry humping or having sexual activity without actually exchanging fluids.

I don't want to have sex but I'll 'Baste the Turkey'.

by kisssmyclasss December 15, 2012

Jon's Turtle

Its simply everything that is in Jon's room.

Chey: Is that Jon's sister?

Aly: Nah, that's Jon's turtle.

by CaptainPancakes June 28, 2012

Panning for turds

The perverse and possibly masochistic pleasure of seeking situations that are likely to cause oneself to be outraged or offended, in order to be being outraged or offended by them.

"I just posted this cry-laughing Charltie Brooker quote on Twitter, only to get jumped on by tweeps pointing out my technical inaccuracies."

Don't worry about it, they're just "Panning for turds".

by Lady Beefcake January 19, 2013

Newton's Turd

The Psychological version of his 3rd Law ("for every action… ) of Motion.

Alluded to in Matthew 7:1, "Judge not… "

Unlike Physics, tends to build into a frenzy, akin to one upping & pissing contest, not settle down.
The 'turd' reference is from apeshit, from a the practice of an enraged ape, takes or finds his recent dump and hurling it

Counselors & Priests see plenty of Newton's Turd in action when dealing with marital & relationship problems

by AmboNec September 21, 2013