whittling a wooden dick

to spend large amounts of time by yourself doing questionable ( homosexual) things.

Anybody seen Dale? He's probably in his shed whittling a wooden dick. A secret h-mo? You don't say.

by Jim Ridge March 21, 2023

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Wooden Plank

The opposite of nimble. Normally this term is used in sports.

Teammate 1: That guy lost the ball as soon as we passed it to him wtf
Teammate 2: Yea don't pass to that wooden plank again

by Radiotrophic Gint April 30, 2024

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wooden fireplace

Something that's completely unusable or effectively useless.

Something as useful as a chocolate teapot.

The phrase "eight people in a basement, huddled around a wooden fireplace" during a power failure originates with the Brockville Recorder & Times, a small-city daily newspaper, reporting on a major icestorm which hit eastern Ontario in Jan 1998. They followed up with another piece on a subsequent power fail which stated "when the insulator is open, the electricity leaks to the ground."

Don't quit your day jobs, kids.

by bitchuck October 5, 2024

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wooden girl

A girl you adore and love very much, but that love is unrequited and she does not feel the same. This definition stems from 2 songs called wooden girl: one by jonatan leandoer96 and one by pino placentile. Both songs describe women they loved that did not love them same way.

“I gave her all the kisses that I could, but it only seemed you were made of wood” lyrics to wooden girl by pino placentile
“He is afraid that the girl might not love him for what he is, instead for what he has.” - meaning of wooden girl by jonatan leandoer96 according to genius.com

by Asthmaurmom March 19, 2023

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wooden horse torture

the wooden horse is a triangular prism normally set up on legs. (not actual human legs) The person being tortured is to straddle the horse. Since the wooden triangular prism is set on the legs so the edge faces upward, the person straddling the horse experiences immense pain and could be left with permanent damage. This is commonly used as a type of torture in BDSM.

"Wooden horse torture turns me on."
"That's really kinky!!"

by Dahlia (didi) February 23, 2024

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