toddlerist

And child, typically between ages 1-3 that goes from happy go lucky to a crazed lunatic in a matter of seconds.

"Not going to be able to meet you at the playground, the toddlerist and I are in a standoff about how many more bites of his peanut butter sandwich he must eat...."

by jshsahm July 30, 2012

toddlers and tiaras

A TLC and DMAX show about moms who aren't happy with letting their kids be kids so they dress them up, slap makeup on their faces and throw them out in front of an audience so they can be judged on how "beautiful" they look in a swimsuit clearly designed for a 20-year-old. This process generally creates bratty but adorable divas like Makenzie and Eden, and makes a very addictive TV show.

Did you see that mother who dressed her two-year-old as a prostitute on toddlers and tiaras?

by lilmisstomlinson23 April 11, 2013

Toddlers and Tiaras

A reality TV show on TLC where parents dress their children up as sluts, making them wear more make up than some adults. Most mothers force their daughter to do these pageants and they live through their daughter. 90% of mothers on that show are fat or ugly, sometimes both. Over all it's a great show and rather addicting.

Yesturday Toddlers and Tiaras yesturday, Eden got second place and cried. She's still cute.

by Team Eden August 23, 2011

Toddlerspeak

1. That glorious language somewhere between Adult English and Babytalk Gibberish.

2. The bastardization of the English Language by the diminutive, infantile, offspring, of Homo Sapiens.

Example: “Dude, did you really say you have to ‘poo-poo’… what, is that bra… Toddlerspeak for ‘take a dump’?”

by JD Ellis February 25, 2008

Toddlerman

Typically 19 years and up, doesn't drive, work, or go to school with no intentions of ever doing so.

usually a mega toker... tends to have angry controlling girlfriends that are more like a mother than a girlfriend (mom-friend)

guy: you still with that one guy
girl: nah, i dumped that toddlerman two weeks ago
guy: about time..

by Lukamonsta/i.v26 January 18, 2010

Shwat-toddle

1. v. the act of kicking someones balls back inside them thus making the remaining skin look like a hammster's empty cheeks.

2. n. a person who does unspeakable things to another person.

1.---
John- "Dude devin got shwat-toddled last night"
Matt- "Wow what twat waffle did that?"
John- "I dunno but he's gonna need reconstructice sergery after that one"
2."That shwat-toddle just teabaged the passed out drunk dude.."

by Magnitization November 6, 2007

toddlercon

Toddlercon is like lolicon but even younger, toddlers consist of the age 12-36 months old, toddlers are depicted as something erotic and fap worthy.

Oh my god, im tired of looking at lolis all day, i need younger people to masturbate to......WHATS THIS, TODDLERCON?!?!

by Coolman1234590 August 22, 2018