as useful as a fly screen on a submarine

This saying was conceived by Bob and his buddy Mel while on a cycle ride to Portsmouth Dock Yard via Gosport in the Summer of 1963. They passed by a naval shipyard and noticed a beached and apparently discarded mini (aka: one-person) submarine in the assembly yard. The yard gate was open, so the guys checked out the sub and noticed that it had an open hatch upon which had been placed a fly screen (of the household variety), beggaring the question: "what is as useful as a fly screen on a submarine"??? Ironically, someone had punched a hole through the screen through which a horde of wasps had flown in through the hatch and nested. The thought came to mind of how annoying it would be - after closing up the submarine - to have the wasps buzzing around inside the sub...

Following immigration to Canada in 1975, one of the guys adjusted the saying to: "as useful as a screen door on a submarine" to accommodate Vancouver Island / BC / Canada / North America vernacular (which didn't recognize the term "fly screen").

the act of a Central Bank 'printing' fiat money, ie: quantitative easing, in an attempt to curb inflation is "as useful as a fly screen on a submarine"

by Myrddin Wyllt October 26, 2022

midnight submarine

The act of penetrating a woman while she is sleeping. The focus being to get full penetration without her waking up

I woke up last night and gave the wife the old midnight submarine

by Munkiee September 12, 2013

yellow submarine

a joint

we smoked a yellow subamarine uesterday

by Anonymous April 25, 2003

submarine sauce

— n
1. the ejaculate (semen) produced during a male orgasm

2. derogatory phrase used to describe spunk, jizz, gonad gunk, pecker puss, etc..

the other day i was cruising for porn, and i saw brad pitt spray his submarine sauce all over your mother.

by yourfriendlyneighbor August 18, 2010

Submarryner

A passive homosexual who is part of a commited relationship often a civil partnership but still enjoys going down deep while being full of many different semen.

After the third man had reamed his gaping hole Stephen was truely a submarryner. Up periscope.

by Bradford Shopper December 3, 2009

Submaratic

A way to describe something sharing the same traits as or being as awesome as, a submarine.

Submarines are submaratic.

by lolicakes April 2, 2011

Submarine Splash

When you're doing a girl doggy style and you are about to cum, you pull out and cum on her back. Then you belly flop onto the cum on her back while yelling, "SPLASH!" - invented by axe

"I told him I felt like getting wet...then he fucking submarine splashed me."

by AxeMalley June 17, 2012