squanching gooner

someone who is addicted to masturbating to underage girls instagram posts while in the process of hanging themselves

Did you hear Alex is a squanching gooner?

by Gooning Enjoyer December 27, 2023

garfield gooner

A girl who goons their boyfriend in the Garfield movie (2024) and is usually named Liv

She sure is a Garfield Gooner

by Schizophrenic Urban June 07, 2024

Desktop Gooner

A desktop gooner is someone who masturbates on their desktop computer, at their desk, rather than in their bed like a normal fucking person.

Person 1: You see Philip over there?
Person 2: Yeah, what about him?
Person 1: He's a Desktop Gooner! I caught him desktop gooning in a discord call last night.

by ppbob February 28, 2025

certified gooner

a certified gooner is someone that is open about their addiction to gooning and prolbably has a 30 hour streak of gooning to pornography on the weekend. this person is so down bad for the hub that they even watch it in school, at home, in the car, and more. this person will stay a virgin forever if they do not quit their gooning soon, before it is too late.

Gooner: dude I just stayed up all day over the weekend watching some Angela white and jonny sins going at it
random civil person: 'dials 911' there is a certified gooner on the streets terrorizing the public send help

by himolton April 22, 2024

certified gooner

a person who goons all the time. by all the time I mean all the time. I mean they have a 34 hour gooning streak over the weekend, and they wonder why they are tired all the time. they goon in school, in work (if they manage to get a job) they goon at home most often and they even goon at family gatherings.

dog, i managed to goon for 78 hours a couple days ago
so that's why you weren't at school you certified gooner, and stop looking at my tits loser
But why? I am the epiphony of rizz
i will let you think that
wanna be my sex toy?
*dials 911

by himolton April 25, 2024

Goonerism

When someone is so involved in a state of gooning that their mental capability begins to decay.

He couldn't focus on any of his hobbies or school work because of his newly diagnosed goonerism.

by Cracker RIzz July 26, 2024

Goonerism

The religion of being a gooner and worshipping the Eye of Rah. Often leaving its members a martyr and uniting for goonsesh's with other members.

Cafe Worker: Sir, have you been here before?
Goon Lord: Yes.
Cafe Worker: Sir, you need to leave.
Goon Lord: But miss, I'm a part of Goonerism

by SigmaSigmaOnTheWall January 30, 2025