Generally speaking, a soccer mom is an upper middle class white
woman from the suburbs. But soccer moms can be divided into two categories:
-Mrs. Foo Foo-
She was born into an upper middle class family. Her daddy payed her way through
college, where she met "hubby" (who, of course, was majoring in business). She was married straight out of
college, and has never had to work a day in her life because "hubby" is now some sort of
douchebag in middle management. Despite "hubby" only making $80,000/year, she still likes to convince herself that he makes well into the six figures. She attempts to show this off by her large ass SUV and her daily trips to the local mall. She is in her late 20s, and 30/40s, and still tries to shop in the juniors sections, and constantly talks about her sorority back in
college. She is a member of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club" at her church, although back in
college she'd suck a dick at the drop of a hat. She lives vicariously through her daughters, which is why you will find her in her fold up chair definitely wearing capris, at the YMCA youth league soccer team cheering on her future little prom queen, who by the way is the best cheerleader on her $8,000 a year
cheerleading team. If she has sons, he is of course "Mr. Athlete." This is not by choice of the
child. ALL of her children are blond, even if she and her husband are both brunettes. Her children do not know the
father, since he constantly away on his business trips screwing his secretary. This, of course causes his daughters to grow up with a "daddy complex," where they sleep with anything with a pulse and a penis to get that male attention, therefore, continueing the Mrs. Foo Foo tradion, and his sons grow up to have a
drugs problem. Mrs. Foo Foo and her husband are hardcore
conservative Republican.
Soccer mom number 2 is:
Mrs. Frumpy-
Mrs. Frumpy was born into a middle class blue collar family. She has always wanted nothing more than to be a mom. Her husband works a blue collar
job barely making $40,000 a year working 12 hours a day, because she refuses to get a job because "Jesus intended for moms to stay at home with their little ones." Her hobbies include scrapbooking, clipping coupons, and being president of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club," and of course, her children. She is madly obsessed with her children. She only lets her 14 year old listen to Radio Disney or the Christian family songs station. Any video game not radio "E" is inappropriate. The more extremist "Mrs. Frumpies" are homeschoolers, for they feel anything that is not Christian is evil, so it shall never come in contact with her children. You can find Mrs. Frumpy on her picnic blanet at the YMCA youth soccer league games with her 4 kids, cheering on
junior. Mrs. Frumpy's daughters will not play soccer, because Jesus did not intend for little
girls to be rough and tough.
