Chest Johnnies

Long, droopy, withered, wrinkly breasts that hang down flat on a woman's chest, looking like a pair of used johnnies (condoms).

"Man, I walked in on mother-in-law while she was getting dressed."

"Hey, did you see her tits?"

"Yeah, but I wish I hadn't. She turned and flashed them at me, but the sight of a couple of chest johnnies turned my stomach."

by walkin-dead December 4, 2011

Getting "Johnnie'd"

When you sneeze it's about as far away from homeostasis the body gets and actually recover on its own. For a micro second every muscle contracts and relaxes without any control maneuver we try. Be it just a quick one time "bless you" sneeze or the repetitive uncontrollable sneeze-o-rama the same somatic short circuit occurs. Knowing this, and knowing you are going to get deepthroated why would I not put some pepper around the umbilical region and if needed lower? The awesomeness of being deepthroated is because the throat is trying to force the cock back out. This spasm is what gives the one being deepthroated that, "OH SO HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY FEELING" Getting "JOHNNIE'D" causes the repetitious spasm causing sneeze lottery....... Unfortunate. Possibly. For the throat of that special watery-eyed individual looking up at you with that WTF expression. Fabulously unparalleled phalic fun time for the receiver. Enjoy and well, ENJOY!!

I PLANNED ON GETTING "JOHNNIE'D" TONIGHT SO I HAD DINNER BROUGHT TO THE ROOM.

by JaxSnow July 10, 2019

Bames Johnned

Da great stand-up comedian who is so "suave 'n' skillful" dat his audiences often almost thinks he's actually a top-secret spy; they are all unaware dat a lot of da witty ideas for his clever jokes come from his faithful secretary, Miss Punnymany.

"Good evening, everyone. My name is Johnned --- Bames Johnned. A funny thing happened on my way to the show tonight..."

by QuacksO February 25, 2020

Getting Johnned

Having sex or performing sexual acts with someone while somebody else is asleep either next to them or in the same room as them.

Bro I can’t go back to my dorm tonight or else I’m Getting Johnned.

Elise and Joey johnned me while I was asleep on the couch at Matthew’s party.

by Johnner5000 March 18, 2025

Pulling a johnnie

Hiding in the closet while your friends get in trouble, and once they find you, you act like you don't know whats going on.

Did you hear what joe did, he got caught pulling a johnnie. What a dickhead.

by ac91 May 14, 2013

The Iron Johnnies

A group of "People" With an unordinary case of extreme autism, tourettes}, retardation,and or a bacterial infection that has targeted the brain

hey what's up man these guys here are the iron johnnies don't make fun of them its not their fault they're like this

by TheRoadToElDespacito December 8, 2018

Jake and Johnnie

the best duo thats hilarious asf and dumb

Person 1: Who are the people that are hilarious and dumb?
Person 2: Jake and Johnnie

by jackii13 June 20, 2024