People who update there status (mainly stones) daily with bullshit philosophies and phrases, in a bid to try and make themselves look intellectual.
For example a facebook philosophers may say Don't stay in bed unless your making money in bed etc...
by godsgift55 July 11, 2011
Get the facebook philosophers mug.1. Philosophy in a good way: The process of seeking a better, happier lifestyle by giving deep thought into personal actions, habits and morals. Good philosophy is often understood to be to the benefit of society as well as to oneself. Religions often try to achieve this as well, at least on the surface.
2. Philosophy in a not-so-good way: The process of taking a set of personal beliefs and opinions and pressing them upon others without regard for the benefit of anyone other than oneself. Some would also say bad philosophy is the act of taking on a selfish lifestyle and making the excuse that this is the best way to live.
2. Philosophy in a not-so-good way: The process of taking a set of personal beliefs and opinions and pressing them upon others without regard for the benefit of anyone other than oneself. Some would also say bad philosophy is the act of taking on a selfish lifestyle and making the excuse that this is the best way to live.
1. See Jesus, Buddha, etc. (Whether or not you're religious, they're both really nice guys.)
2. See Hitler, Stalin, Zedong, etc.
2a. A personal note to Ayn Rand: Rejecting altruism in philosophy is a little harsh. Try improving the life of someone who really does need it, then tell me that it's not going to make you feel any better.
2. See Hitler, Stalin, Zedong, etc.
2a. A personal note to Ayn Rand: Rejecting altruism in philosophy is a little harsh. Try improving the life of someone who really does need it, then tell me that it's not going to make you feel any better.
by A Man In A Box August 14, 2009
Get the Philosophy mug.Analagous to stroking one's penis, but done through the activity of thinking. Philosophy comes from the two root words phil, meaning "love", and sophy, meaning "to stroke ones penis incessantly and abstractly while maintaining a pretentious air about you". Combined, we can deduce that this means "to love one's own penis incessantly arrogantly and abstractly." Philosophy is broken down into many disciplines. Some to be considered are: epistemology, metaphysics and ontology.
Epistemology simply asks the question, "how do i know i am a fucking pretentious moron?" Over the centuries, many a party-goer has asked this question to philosophers only to be answered with high noses and comments about how wonderful the wine and cheese is, when you actually know it was 2 buck chuck and a cracker-barrel.
Next comes metaphysics. Metaphysics is what idiots at parties talk about when they are trying to prove they are better than you. Often times this involves theories of Truth, (with a capital T) and theories about why some philosophy dude will never go to home with that hot girl because he shows up to a party with a Nietzsche book in his pocket like its something she should be impressed by.
Ontology is the theory being. It simply asks the question, "Am i a pretentious moron?" Most philosophers cannot answer this question because they are so full of themselves, they cannot see past their own dissertations that try to explain a chair or a desk or any other inanimate object in the room.
While philosophy majors can most generally be categorized as annoying and useless, we can deduce from this simple syllogism the following:
1. All philosophy majors are pretentious assholes.
2. Pretentious assholes will do you favors if you stroke their egos
3. if you stroke a pretentious asshole's ego, you can get him to do anything
4. you can get a philosophy major to do anything if you stroke his ego a little bit.
So they arent completely useless. For example, you can get a philosophy kid to get you a beer when you need one at a party if you tell him you are interested in his theory (which by the way is never his particular theory) but just him reciting some bullshit he read. Nonetheless, if you just appease his need to assert intellectual dominance in a social atmosphere, you have a masturbating helper monkey as your new friend.
Epistemology simply asks the question, "how do i know i am a fucking pretentious moron?" Over the centuries, many a party-goer has asked this question to philosophers only to be answered with high noses and comments about how wonderful the wine and cheese is, when you actually know it was 2 buck chuck and a cracker-barrel.
Next comes metaphysics. Metaphysics is what idiots at parties talk about when they are trying to prove they are better than you. Often times this involves theories of Truth, (with a capital T) and theories about why some philosophy dude will never go to home with that hot girl because he shows up to a party with a Nietzsche book in his pocket like its something she should be impressed by.
Ontology is the theory being. It simply asks the question, "Am i a pretentious moron?" Most philosophers cannot answer this question because they are so full of themselves, they cannot see past their own dissertations that try to explain a chair or a desk or any other inanimate object in the room.
While philosophy majors can most generally be categorized as annoying and useless, we can deduce from this simple syllogism the following:
1. All philosophy majors are pretentious assholes.
2. Pretentious assholes will do you favors if you stroke their egos
3. if you stroke a pretentious asshole's ego, you can get him to do anything
4. you can get a philosophy major to do anything if you stroke his ego a little bit.
So they arent completely useless. For example, you can get a philosophy kid to get you a beer when you need one at a party if you tell him you are interested in his theory (which by the way is never his particular theory) but just him reciting some bullshit he read. Nonetheless, if you just appease his need to assert intellectual dominance in a social atmosphere, you have a masturbating helper monkey as your new friend.
by FTD May 22, 2005
Get the philosophy mug.Believing that you can figure out complex things that you couldn't when you're sober. Very mental, and deep about everything, very creative thinkers while high.
by Just259 September 9, 2013
Get the philosophical stoner mug.A pseudo intelligent person who finds it necessary to steal song lyrics and famous quotes to elicit a reaction from their audience or to appear to be deeply thoughtful or philosophical. These people will usually accomplish their goals by receiving feedback or "Likes" from the uninformed when they indeed haven't earned them, only egging them on to further post BS. For the large majority of the population, they just appear to be retards.
Joe: "Leticia, I really like your post today! I found it so inspiring when you said, 'All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.' That is so true."
Leticia: "Yeah, just a little something I came up with.
Chris: "Leticia! Who are you kidding?!? Will you please post something by Led Zeppelin tomorrow? I sure could use some Stairway to Heaven inspiration. Damn, Facebook Philosopher."
Leticia: "Yeah, just a little something I came up with.
Chris: "Leticia! Who are you kidding?!? Will you please post something by Led Zeppelin tomorrow? I sure could use some Stairway to Heaven inspiration. Damn, Facebook Philosopher."
by Ingenious One August 31, 2013
Get the Facebook Philosopher mug.someone who believes no one is correct on how we got here and why and that we possibly may never know, and instead comes up with random theories and proof of theories in their everyday life then chooses their favorite to believe for the day, week, etc.
Boy 1: Isn't that girl over there an atheist?
Boy 2: No I hear she's an "agnostic philosophist"
Boy 1: The hell is that?
Boy 2: I think someone who thinks there's nothing to be known of the existence of god/gods and instead comes up with their own theories to believe in.
Boy 2: No I hear she's an "agnostic philosophist"
Boy 1: The hell is that?
Boy 2: I think someone who thinks there's nothing to be known of the existence of god/gods and instead comes up with their own theories to believe in.
by noreligionneeded March 6, 2015
Get the agnostic philosophist mug.Guy 1: "People just are horrible, human beings are pathetic creatures and everyone is garbage. Live life as you please, because you only get one."
Guy 2: "Wow, playing pocket-philosopher today are we? What other common sense covered in sugar are you going to give me next?"
Guy 2: "Wow, playing pocket-philosopher today are we? What other common sense covered in sugar are you going to give me next?"
by JuneEagle May 23, 2018
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