The Carpenter's Level

Sitting in a tub of water and farting while squeezing your legs together and trying to keep the fart bubble from coming out below your knees.By carefully raising or lowering your legs you can actually contain the bubble midway between the anus and the knees,thus attaining level.

Doing the carpenter's level in the tub is almost like playing one of those B-B in the maze games.

by wolfbait51 May 5, 2011

carpet monkey

One who sifts through threads of the carpet in hopes of finding a small amount of cocaine.

When we ran out of coke danny became a carpet monkey.

by P LOS May 24, 2006

Does the carpet match the drapes

One's pubic hair matching the hair on their head.

Often used to find out natural hair color.

In a sentence: "Does the carpet match the drapes?"

Me: Girl you know what I found out the other day?!

Friend: What?

Me: Britney Spears IS a natural blonde!

Friend: Does the carpet match the drapes?

Me: YEEEHH

by Gigi1000 December 30, 2010

carpet comber

someone who smokes crack (or other drugs like peices of weed, pills) and after it's all gone they get on the floor and dig through the carpet to find little crack rocks. Also combin the carpet.

Man, look at the damn carpet comber on his hands and knees.

by caitlin February 20, 2005

carpenters balls

a painful testicular condition caused by sitting on a hot tar roof all day. causes your balls to swell and ache to the extreme

carl got carpenters balls from working on his roof an could barely walk for a week

by jessica1# February 8, 2010

Carpet Carcass

the skeletal remains founder under shit in a hoarder's house.

Dude, Did you see hoarders last night? There were four carpet carcasses in that bitch's house, yo.

by Fish & Food Bowl August 13, 2011

carpe dayum!

Latin for "seize the babe." Said around attractive people as a means of appreciation.

Friend 1: *sees ridiculously hot person* "I wish I could get a hottie like that."
Friend 2: "Well you know what they say. Carpe dayum!"
Friend 1: "Huh?"
Friend 2: "Seize that babe before they get away!"

by IrreleventNickname! December 30, 2015